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repair the damage. It was impossible to concentrate on anything but how she’d just ruined one of the most important friendships she ever had.
    They returned to the Monte Carlo, and Jay started the car and immediately switched on the radio, filling the awkward lack of conversation. The action wounded Kimber further; she dreaded talking about what just happened but was terrified what would happen if it wasn’t addressed. Clearly, Jay was not about to bring up the topic. She watched him on the ride home from the corner of her eye, noticing his blank, unreadable expression and how he drove the car like he was going to be graded on his efforts. An outsider wouldn’t even bat an eye at his behavior. Kimber knew better. She licked her dry lips and looked out the window, wondering if she would ever see him again. It was a histrionic thought, but what else was she supposed to think at this point?
    Jay pulled up in front of Kimber’s apartment building and let the car idle, both hands still on the wheel as he looked in the rearview mirror. “All right, see you around.”
    Kimber felt ready to crack in half and curled her fingers into fists. “Jay, will you look at me?”
    He turned to her, his face stoic and impossible to interpret. He said nothing.
    “I’m sorry about what happened back there.” She swallowed hard. “I don’t want it to ever be weird between us. You’re my best friend in the world and I hate the thought of ever losing you. I care about you so much.”
    Jay broke eye contact again, his gaze returning to the rearview as he scratched his shoulder. “I know.”
    Another silence fell between them, making Kimber want to scream. “Well, what’s going to happen now? Has everything changed? Are we not friends anymore?”
    After several excruciating moments, he finally said, “No. We’re still friends.”
    “Okay. Good.” Kimber noticed that he still refused to look at her but she had run out of things to say. She sensed he wasn’t saying what he wanted to, but she didn’t have enough proof to demand honesty, especially when she wasn’t sure she wanted him to be too honest. She hooked her fingers in the door handle. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
    “Yep.” He nodded as she climbed out of the car. “Later.”
    Kimber watched him drive away, feeling like a wrecking ball had slammed into her chest. It was the first time they’d parted in years without a hug goodbye.

    * * *
     

    “I’ve figured out what your problem is,” Ferney announced the next day when Kimber slid into the passenger seat of her sister’s Subaru Legacy.
    “Great, I can’t wait to hear what it is.” Kimber raked a hand through her unwashed hair and adjusted the giant Jackie O sunglasses on her face, suddenly feeling self-conscious. A few minutes ago, rolling out of bed without showering had seemed like a great idea after a night of crying with little sleep. Now, next to Ferney, who looked fresh and classy to suit her titling and abstracting job for the gas company, she wished she didn’t look as horrible as she felt. Attempting to look like a normal person who bathed and wore clean clothes probably would’ve gone a long way to feeling at least an ounce better.
    Ferney peeled away from Kimber’s apartment complex, narrowly missing taking out a row of mailboxes without batting an eye. “The last person you slept with spent six years not worshipping you like you deserve. This can be attributed to the fact that prior to him, your experience with men was so limited you never learned how to assert your needs in the bedroom.”
    Kimber grunted in response, half listening and half wondering if she could fall asleep behind her sunglasses without her sister noticing.
    “So what I propose is you gain some sexual confidence. Then you’ll learn to be more demanding of the men you wind up with and never have to settle again.”
    “And how do you propose I do that? Go out and screw a bunch of guys?” Kimber’s patience frayed;