chuckles. âHeath, the captain, actually told me never to do it again. Thatâs how easy it is to upset them.â
âThatâs funny because they seemââ Screeching brakes interrupt me. Momâs fire-truck-red car pulls into our driveway a few feet away. Callen moves, like heâs going inside, and I gesture for him to stay, hoping she wonât notice us. She cuts the engine off and jumps out, her loaded key chain jangling loudly. Sheâs probably heard about Belle by now. If so, sheâll be on edge. She bends down to pick a microscopic piece of litter off the driveway,
tsk
ing under her breath, then strides up to our door, head high, gripping her tote bag full of books. When she reaches the door, she pauses and turns, her brown eyes, a few shades lighter than mine, sweeping the neighborhood and stopping when she spots us at the end of the path. She raises her eyebrows.
âNettie, shouldnât you be at Fincherâs?â
Worry lines groove her forehead. She pushes her square glasses up to the bridge of her aquiline nose. âHi, Callen,â she adds, in a tone that does not invite further conversation. Her voice, her nose, and most of all her hair, sheared right off at her chin, ensure that Mom pretty much always looks severe. Her plain wardrobeâtoday a black wool blazer and silk button-down blouse paired with a long black wool skirtâadds to the effect.
âNo, not today.â Mom
really
wants me to apprentice at Fincherâs. She liked reading books, so she became a librarian. She figures that I like building gadgets, so I should become a repairman. She probably also thinks that doing something Iâm good at will translate into plus-ten ratings. But Iâm going about my tasks at Fincherâs in such a cloud of misery that I suspect no one will want to watch me there for very long.
I havenât talked about my doubts with Mom. She and I never frall about ratingsânever frall about anything, really. She stopped because I was so awful at it when I was young, slipping up on-mic all the time, saying things like
Iâm tired of this motif
or
I donât care about that Special Event.
She might not want to talk to me about ratings, but I know she caresâa lot. More than once Iâve caught her fishing through my trash can after a Character Report.
âSo, youâll go to Fincherâs this weekend?â she persists. Her hand tightens around her tote bag. She has on a hemp bracelet, for
liberato.
âMaybe.â I cross my arms. I wish she would just go inside. I glance back at Callen. Heâs shuffling his feet and staring at the ground, pretending not to eavesdrop, but I see the small smile on his face.
âNettie, you have to show them that youâre interested,â Mom says, putting the tote bag down on the doormat. âWhat if someone else applies and you end up anyassigned?â She takes a few steps down the porch stairs. Uh-oh. I donât want her coming here and embarrassing me more.
âI understand, Mom,â I bite out. âIâll go tomorrow after Lia comes by.â
She stops her march toward me, brown eyes flicking over to Callen, gleaning that I want to be left alone. âGood. Okay, dinner will be ready soon, and then I need to draw up the volunteer schedule for work and do the reading for book club, so I better start cracking,â she says, disappearing into the house. Mom is always busyâat work, cooking, book clubbing, or going to these unsexy singles dances. Still, it never seems like the busyness makes her happy, because sheâs always fretting about what could go wrong. What makes it even weirder is that Iâm pretty sure she
thinks
sheâs happy as long as her ratings are on target.
I turn back to Callen. âSorry about that. She can be . . . overbearing.â
âSheâs worried,â he says mildly. âAnd it seems like she worries a lot.