some shopping. I didn’t really need anything, but I wanted to avoid going home for as long as possible. We were walking around the mall when my phone vibrated with a text message from my father. Family dinner. Be home by 6.
With a sigh, I told Maggie we had to go soon, and I had a nagging feeling in my stomach as I drove home. I walked in the house, greeting my father and Debbie, and took my bags upstairs. I quickly changed and headed back down.
“So, where we going?” I asked, joining them, noticing Blake still wasn’t downstairs.
“Your father made reservations at a new restaurant downtown,” Debbie said, smiling at him.
“Great.” Our traipsing round the mall had made me hungry. As casually as possible, I asked, “Is Blake joining us?”
“Absolutely.” A snarky voice came from behind me. I whipped around to see Blake descending the stairs.
“Alrighty then,” Dad said, and we followed him outside and piled into his SUV.
I spent the long ride to the restaurant contemplating whether or not I should talk to Blake about last night. We seemed to have a really bad habit of ignoring the things we did and not talking about them. Obviously, this wasn’t working, and we kept finding ourselves in the same confusing, hazy situations, patching over everything and not dealing with our emotions. It didn’t feel clever or healthy, so I decided I would try and talk to him after dinner, a heavy knot roiling in my stomach just thinking about it. Getting everything out in the open would put everyone back in the place they belonged.
After a long dinner of catching up with my father and Debbie, I was relieved to finally get home. I thanked Dad for dinner and went upstairs, my hands clammy and a little shaky at the prospect of talking to Blake. Taking a deep breath, I knocked on his door, and he yelled for me to come in.
“Hey.” I greeted him, entering the room. He was playing a video game and paused it. Tossing the controller aside, he looked at me expectantly. I crossed my arms, shifting awkwardly. My palms were sweaty, and I was nervous, starting to doubt the effectiveness of this idea. I stayed where I was, forcing myself to do what needed to be done.
“What’s up?” Blake asked with a frown after my silence stretched uncomfortably.
“Look, Blake…” I began awkwardly. “I want to talk about last night.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment. He looked bewildered and even a little embarrassed by the mention of our emotional moment. “Don’t worry about it,” he finally said nonchalantly, trying to smooth over the situation with his usual, cool-guy persona. “We were both drinking, and you were upset about Brad.”
“Right,” I said, shaking my head slowly. “I just feel like we have to be…more careful.” My tone was neutral, but his look told me he knew I meant the past incidents between us. Something flickered in his eyes, and I looked away, trying not to think about the hot, desperate kisses we had shared. “It’s just… Our parents seem really happy, and I think we’re going to have to be around each other for a long time. I don’t want to risk complicating anything,” I said, watching his reaction carefully.
Blake nodded. “Don’t worry about it, kid. We both know it didn’t mean anything.”
“Right,” I replied softly, knowing that, for me at least, it had meant something.
***
Over the next few weeks, I could feel a distance growing between the two of us. Except for our weekly tutoring sessions, I avoided Blake as much as possible, which proved to be relatively easy, considering our busy lives. It was hard to describe, but the more I forced myself away from Blake, the emptier I felt, as if he filled some sort of deep and desperate void inside me.
I shook my head. I had spaced out thinking about Blake again. It was the week before finals, and I was studying as much as possible, but I just couldn’t focus. I let out a sigh and flipped through my book, grateful