magic act. Even if he had some sort of magical power, I couldnât have inherited it. I wasnât blood-related to him. I shook my head. This was all too confusing. There had to be a sensible explanation. Either I had closed it without realizing it or the drawer had just rolled closed and automatically locked. Maybe there was a very small earthquake, or alarge truck had rumbled by and shaken the ground enough.
I hurried up to my room and sat at my vanity table, staring at myself in the mirror. Sage , I told myself, you must erase the memory of what you did and saw today, all of it. Push it so far back in your mind that it will be thinner than a distant childhood memory, and no one, especially your parents, will be able to read your face and see your sense of guilt. I concentrated on my eyes and willed it to be true.
I didnât break out of the concentration until I heard footsteps on the stairway and my mother called to me. When I looked at my watch, I realized I had been sitting at the vanity table for nearly half an hour. I must have hypnotized myself or something, I thought. The next time he came, Iâd have to ask Uncle Wade if that was even possible. Although he would think it was a strange question to ask, he might still answer it. Of course, I wouldnât dare ask my mother or father. It would lead to another severe cross-examination.
âYes?â I called back.
She stepped into my doorway. âWhat were you doing while we were shopping?â she asked. As was too often the case, her voice was full of accusations.
âJust my homework,â I said. âI had a lot to do this time. All our teachers gave us more than usual for the weekend. Everyone in my class is complaining.â
She continued to stare at me so intensely that I felt uncomfortable.
âWhat?â
âDid you go into your fatherâs office and snoop?âMy father must have remembered that he hadnât closed and locked the filing cabinet, and they had found it closed and locked.
âNo,â I said. âIâve been up here practically the whole time you were away. Why?â
She stepped in and narrowed her eyelids. Whenever she looked at me this hard, I felt more than naked; I felt as if she could explore my very bones and nerves, maybe even examine my brain. âChildren shouldnât spy on their parents and snoop in their things,â she said. âAnd they should never lie to their parents.â
I waited as she gave my face more of her usual close study. Apparently, nothing popped out at her.
âYou had better be telling me the truth. Eventually, Iâll know if youâre not. You know that.â
âYes, I do, Mother,â I said.
âAnd if that happens, youâll be severely punished. You understand?â
âI do, Mother.â
She relaxed a little. I breathed in relief. For the first time ever, she really wasnât sure whether I was telling the truth. Whatever I had done in my self-hypnosis had worked. She put a bag on my bed and took out a new sweater.
âI thought this would look nice on you,â she said. âViolet is your color. You have violet eyes,â she added.
âThank you.â I was really surprised. It was not that often that she bought something for me spontaneously.
âTry it on,â she said.
I rose, took off the blouse I was wearing, and put on the violet sweater. I looked at myself in the mirror.She came up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders as she looked at me in the mirror. For a long moment, she was silent. I could feel the heat in her fingers penetrate my neck and shoulders.
âHow does that make you feel?â she asked in a voice that was almost a whisper, a voice I didnât recognize.
âItâs very nice. Thank you.â
âHow do you feel when you see yourself in this color, Sage?â
âWhat do you mean?â
âDo you feel any different wearing violet?â
I studied