Ruby Redfort Take Your Last Breath

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Book: Read Ruby Redfort Take Your Last Breath for Free Online
Authors: Lauren Child
morning,” said Del. Del was the only person Ruby knew who could speak while at the very same time suck milk shake up a straw.
    Ruby winced. “A little trip to the principal’s office, huh? That’s gonna get old Clancy’s dad in a stew.”
    “Lucky for Clance his dad’s off sailing the high seas with your folks,” said Mouse.
    Ruby nodded. Clancy’s dad wasn’t in the business of bringing up losers: at least that’s what he was constantly telling his children. Ambassador Crew liked to think of himself as a winner, and that meant having children who were winners. Clancy, in this respect, often let him down.
    “Poor old Clance,” said Ruby, signaling to the waitress that she was ready to order.
    Just then, in stumbled a girl with long copper hair, golden-brown skin, and gray eyes. It was the impossibly pretty but strikingly clumsy Red Monroe.
    “Hi, Red. What happened to your leg?” asked Del.
    “Oh, yeah,” replied Red, looking down at her scuffed knee. “I tripped over a dog.”
    “That reminds me,” said Del. “My uncle Charlie, you know, the one who’s with the coast guard? He was saying how this shipment of dog food ended up in Argentina when it was meant to be delivered to Mexico, and how this shipment of bananas was meant to arrive in San Francisco, but ended up in Chile. I mean how about that!”
    “So?” said Mouse. “What’s the big deal? Mix-ups happen.”
    “Yeah, but my uncle Charlie was saying it’s been happening a lot, I mean
a lot
.”
    Del tried to emphasize what “a lot” was by leaving her mouth hanging open when she had finished speaking.
    “Oh, how interesting,” said Ruby, yawning an exaggerated yawn.
    “I’m telling you guys, this is a big deal,” Del insisted.
    “Give us some examples then,” said Mouse, who was concentrating hard on her milk shake.
    “Like a bunch of sneakers that ended up in Antigua instead of Seattle, and a whole load of corn that showed up in Miami.” She paused before adding, “Uncle Charlie told me a troupe of Indian elephants on their way to Baltimore still hasn’t shown up at all.”
    Ruby looked at her with a tired expression. Del had quite a reputation for turning fiction into fact, and this just sounded like the usual garbage that she regularly spouted.
    “For a start it isn’t a troupe of elephants; it’s a parade or herd,” said Ruby. “And for seconds that has to be untrue.”
    “Ask anyone,” said Del.
    Ruby turned to Mouse. “So, Mouse, did you hear about the shipment of elephants that went missing between India and Baltimore?”
    “Nope,” said Mouse.
    Del sighed. She knew when she was beaten. “Hey, how about some French toast? I mean there’s time, right? We just need to eat quick; we can still make the bus.”
    Del Lasco could talk a cow into milking itself, and before they knew it they were all sitting eating a Sunday-style breakfast as if school was not even on the menu. When the hands of the clock got dangerously near pointing out eight o’clock, the friends slipped down off their stools and headed in the direction of Twinford Junior High.
    The bus had long gone.
    “Late
again
! What a
surprise
,” said Mrs. Drisco without one chime of surprise in her voice. “So what was it this time — the cat ate my homework?”
    “Oh, we don’t have a cat, Mrs. Drisco,” said Ruby.
    The teacher pinched her lips together sourly. “Well, that’s a detention then,” she said, writing a
D
in the register.
    “I have a note,” said Ruby.
    “Well, unless it’s from the mayor himself, then I really don’t think I’m interested.”
    “Oh, it is,” said Ruby.
    She reached down to her satchel, opened it, and rifled through her notes and excuses section. There were notes inside for any occasion, arranged alphabetically. She selected the one she needed.
    Pulling out a piece of paper from the bag, Ruby handed it to Mrs. Drisco. Mrs. Drisco looked at the piece of paper most carefully. She put her glasses on and took them

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