had no trouble convincing anyone that she wasn’t going to be playing basketball anytime soon — Ruby was an accomplished actress.
“Too bad Ruby, we’re really gonna miss you,” said Del, kicking furiously at a weed. This was no lie, Ruby Redfort
would
be missed because what she might lack in height she made up for in skill. She had the amazing knack of distracting the opposition and scoring before they knew that they had even lost possession of the ball.
“Yeah, Del, I know. I’m sorry,” said Ruby, wincing as she hobbled toward the nurse’s office.
Mrs. Greenford, the school nurse, couldn’t get either of Ruby’s parents on the phone, which was unsurprising since some time ago Ruby had changed their contact details in the school files. The numbers now sent any member of the staff to an answering machine with the reassuring message,
“If Ruby should need to come home early today, I am around, please put her in a cab.”
(Ruby could do a flawless impression of her mother.) This way, if ever she wanted to pull a stunt like this, her parents would not be informed.
Ruby limped off to the taxi.
“So I’m to take you to Cedarwood Drive?” said the cab driver.
“Nah, change of plan — Joe’s Supermart on Amster,” said Ruby.
The driver gave her a knowing look and nodded. “Yeah I was a kid once — don’t worry, my lips are sealed, sweetheart.”
WHEN RUBY ENTERED THE SUPERMART her ears were assaulted by the tinny sound of the worst kind of Muzak. Ruby caught sight of old Mrs. Beesman, who was busy filling her cart with what looked like two hundred cans of cat food. It was rumored that she had somewhere approaching seventy-four cats, but as far as Ruby knew no one had ever been in Mrs. Beesman’s house to count them. She noticed Mrs. Beesman was wearing earmuffs.
Smart lady
,
this music could damage your brain
.
Ruby walked slowly around the aisles, studying the shelves carefully until she saw what she was looking for. In the middle of a shelf displaying unnaturally vivid cookies and cakes, she saw an item that just didn’t belong. A box of very cardboard-looking Real Health Crackers. They claimed to be
Delicious nutritious yummy snacks — no sugar no eggs no wheat no additives,
but the truth was the packaging looked tastier than the contents.
Something wholesome in Joe’s Supermart, now that is unusual.
Ruby looked at the price sticker and sure enough, across the top it said, ORGANIC UNIVERSE. The words of the mystery voice came back to her.
“You can see when something is plumb square in the wrong place.”
With the box of crackers under her arm, Ruby left the store and made her way across the street to Organic Universe. The wooden chimes jangled as she entered, and the smell of sensible food hit her. She headed straight for the cookie aisle, and there, right next to two boxes of Health Crackers, sat a telephone directory. She replaced the box of Health Crackers she was holding, picked up the directory, and carried it over to the phone booth by the door.
Now what?
she thought.
Above the phone were hundreds of cards advertising all kinds of different health-giving treatments, from color therapy to water therapy, and then . . . a card which simply said, DON’T CALL US WE’LL CALL YOU.
Ruby took the card down from the board and looked at it closely, but apart from a decorative pattern around its edge, there was no other information. She sat down on the wooden stool by the phone booth and waited. After twenty-five minutes the man behind the counter was eyeing her suspiciously.
“Can I help you?” he asked in an extremely unhelpful tone. He was a young guy, nervous-looking, with a nose that seemed too big for his head. It made his face look awkward.
“No, I’m just fine thanks,” replied Ruby, doing her best to sound casual. “I’ll let you know if I need anything.”
The big-nosed guy obviously didn’t want to get into an argument with a schoolkid but he wasn’t about to let