longer.”
“Today he was actually different, Mom. He was sober and actually did some work but he’s still a jerk. You know, he had the nerve to throw Dad in my face. I can take a lot but throwing Dad up into the mix of things is a big no no.”
“Why would he do that, sweetie? Were you two having an argument? People say hurtful things when their mad.”
“I just said that he’s a jerk, mom. We weren’t having an argument - he was just being a jerk. And I’m to my limits with him being a jerk towards me when I don’t do anything to deserve it.”
“I know, sweetheart, but I just think that he’s still finding his way. I know it will get better. You did say that he came into work sober isn’t that a good change. It seems as if he’s making an effort so maybe change isn’t that far from the horizon.”
“Mom, I know you like to see the brighter side of things but there is no bright side to this. None at all. I think he is who he is and that’s that. Sure he came to work sober but his personality is still the same. I just… I just don’t know any more Mom.”
“There is always a bright side, sweetie. You just have to look for it. Even when it looks like there might not be one it’s always there.”
“I just don’t want to see it right now. That’s all, Mom. And if it’s there then there a lot of clouds covering it up.”
“I understand this is overwhelming for you but just think of how it will look when you go apply for another job.”
I sigh. “With how things are going with Rhett, I hardly doubt that he will even give me the recommendation. Or he would probably ask me to write it and then he’d just sign it.”
“You don’t have high hopes in him do you?” she asks.
I shake my head. “No, Mom. I really don’t. He’s changed so much. It’s just hard to be sympathetic towards him. I try to understand him but there is only so much I can do. I don’t think that he’s going to change until he figures out what’s really eating away at him and why he feels the need to drink in the first place.”
“I understand, sweetie. I want you to hang in there a little longer but if you feel as if you need to go for your sanity, then I would understand,” she says. “I don’t want you to lose yourself trying to fix him. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to walk away for a while.”
I smile at her. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Mom. I just need to think on it. The thing with Dad was a low blow, especially since I’ve been doing everything in my power to make sure I’m better than he ever was. Just anyone mentioning Dad to me sends me into a different space and maybe I just need to deal with that issue as well because I’ve been avoiding it for years.”
“I know it must hurt, sweetheart. Especially since you and Rhett were once so close but like I said if you decide to walk away, I won’t be mad at all. I don’t want you to go crazy trying to save him. Sometimes you have to be a little selfish and put yourself first.”
“Are you sure? I really don’t want to let you down, Mom.”
“Yes, I’m sure, sweetie—and trust me when I say you will never let me down. But…”
“But what, Mom?”
“He’s only making you mad because you like him.”
“What?! No Mom, I don’t like him. Haven’t you been listening?”
“Oh, I’ve been listening,” Mom says with a smug smile on her face. “And I know how you act when you like someone.”
“I do not like that man, Mom.”
She smiles, “It’s ok. There is a deep connection between you two. Vivian and I saw it a long time ago. You two fiery characters understand each other.”
“No Mom. It’s not like that. He… And I… we’re just…”
“Whatever you say, dear,” she sighs. “Now are you staying for dinner?”
I shake my head. “No Mom I think I’m going to head home now. I’ve had a long day and I really just need to shower and get some sleep. So that I can clear my head.”
“Alright sweetie,