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pathetic my life was. I ignored how shitty I felt about myself, how trashy I knew I was.”
    “You aren’t—”
    “ Don’t , Chase.” She cut him off sharply, almost snapping. “I was. I fucked anything with a cock from the time I was sixteen, okay? Sure, I had fairly legitimate reasons. But that doesn’t change it. And I got good at pretending it didn’t bother me, to the point that I almost believed it. But I can’t pretend anymore. This doesn’t even really have anything to do with you. When I met you in Vegas, Anna had dared me to go celibate for two months. The dare was no physical male contact. No kissing, nothing. I couldn’t even go a day. I kissed you. Then I went home and did okay for a while, but then I got drunk and…well, bad things happened that I don’t want to go into with you just yet.”
    “Jamie—”
    “Shut up and let me answer the question.”
    “’Kay.”
    “I pretended a lot of things. I pretended I wasn’t in love with you. I pretended I was okay without you, that this between us wasn’t the most powerful thing I’d ever felt. And now…I can’t pretend. I just want the truth out there, good or bad.”
    “So what is the truth for you?”
    “I want you. Even still, in the middle of this whole heavy conversation, I can’t stop wanting you. I’m partially wishing I could let myself just stop talking and get you hard and take you. Ride you. Suck you off again. Let you do whatever you want to me. But…I can’t push away the truth that this thing between us is still impossible.”
    “It’s not impossible. It’s just complicated.”
    Jamie laughed. “It’s impossible, baby. It is. We were both broken up with less than twelve hours ago. I have no clothes but the ones on the floor over there. Everything else is back in Ian’s condo, including my car. I may be with you, now and in the future, but I still have to deal with Ian. I kind of ran out on him. What if he changes his mind and tries to tell me he wants to get back together, give it another shot? I wouldn’t do it whether I was with you or not, because my thing with Ian was nothing but a distraction from how I really felt. I knew that from the beginning, but that was another one of those truths I pretended not to care about.”
    “I like it when you call me ‘baby.’” Chase rubbed her knuckle with a thumb. “I know what you mean, though. My thing with Tess isn’t as complicated to untangle, but it’s still there. She has a few things at my place back in Detroit, but that’s easy enough to take care of. My cousin can send them to Tess. The emotional thing is harder. I know…I know it’s hard. I know it’s tangled up and fucked up and complicated. But it’s not impossible. We just…we have to be honest and take things one step at a time.”
    Jamie sighed. “Yeah. But none of this answers the original question. What do we do now? Is it wrong for us to be together like this so soon?”
    “Wrong?” Chase shook his head. “Being with you can never be wrong, if you ask me. Not being with you would be wrong. Maybe we just stay like this tonight, just…sleep. Hold each other. Cuddle and shit.”  
      Jamie giggled. “You’re funny.”
    “What?” Chase sounded confused. “How am I funny?”
    She shook her head, giggling into his chest again, helplessly lost in laughter. “Just the way you said that.” She made her voice gruff and growly, at the bottom of her register, chin tucked against her breastbone. “‘Cuddle and shit.’ Like it would make you less manly to suggest we cuddle. It was just funny to me for some reason.”
    “Guys aren’t supposed to want to cuddle. It’s not a manly word.”
    Jamie laughed even harder at that. “Call it something else if you want, but you like this. Holding me. Not having sex or foreplay or anything. Just…being together.”
    Chase turned his face to her hair, breathed deeply, clutching her against him. “Yes, Jay. I like it. I love it. Call it cuddling if