Read Rock Bottom (Bullet) for Free Online Page B

things have been a part of your life for a long time—but no more.”  She looked at Ethan.  “Ethan, you’re new to our group, but I have to say I really appreciate your metaphor; you said you have had a relationship with your addictions.  How many of you feel the same way?”  As she looked around the room, one person at a time raised a hand.  They were acknowledging that something like crack had at one time felt like a spouse.  “But you all know what an unhealthy relationship it’s been.  Your addiction might have seemed to hold you up when you felt low, but it also dragged you into depths you never would have gone on your own.  It was a jealous lover.  It consumed you, kept you from your friends, from the things you loved to do.  It was killing you, smothering you, and now that you’ve realized it was unhealthy, it’s still calling to you, asking you to come back.  You’re strong.  Fight it.
    “After you’ve thought about your life with and without this darkness, I want you to think of your resources.  It used to be if you’d had a bad day, you’d drink or inhale or shoot up till you felt better, right?”  A few nods.  “Well, now I want you to think of alternatives.  I know you’ve already done that, and one of your survival tools is your sponsor.  But I want you to make a list of things you can do other than give in to that addiction.  Decide what will work best for you.  Maybe it will be reading a good book in the park or taking a bubble bath.  Yeah, I know.  A lot of those old suggestions seem lame, but sometimes they work.  You need to find what’s right for you.
    “Anyway, enough.   We’re out of time.  Be healthy and stay safe, guys.  Keep your eye on the prize.”
    In unison, everyone in the room except Ethan, said, “Call your sponsor if you need someone to talk to so you can make it through.”
    She smiled.  “Yeah.  Now get the hell out of here and live.  See you next week.  Oh, except…Ethan and Sam, could you stay just a few minutes, please?”
    Jenna saw the look on Jay’s face.  He was feeling a little sad that Jenna wasn’t going to ask him to be Ethan’s sponsor.  Jay didn’t have the opportunity to see the forest for the trees, though.  Jenna had the ability to see that Jay and Ethan would be a crappy match.  Ethan was a newbie—from what Dr. Thomas’s office had indicated, he’d never been in part of an addiction recovery group.  He was still fragile.  Jay was seasoned, yes, but Jenna already knew he was enamored of Ethan.  How easy would it be for the two of them to party together.  Ethan would call for support, and Jay could suggest a cup of coffee.  They’d start talking music and, before you knew it, Jay would be enabling Ethan and they’d go on a spree.
    No.  That would be irresponsible of her.  She thought hanging with Ethan would help Jay’s self-esteem…for the short while, but way too many things could go wrong.  The risks far outweighed any potential benefits.  Instead, she’d already thought of Sam.  Sam was in his fifties, had struggled with alcoholism his whole life.  He still smoked cigarettes and didn’t plan to give them up, but he’d maintained sobriety for three years.  Jenna had told him six months ago that he didn’t necessarily need to keep attending the group.  He had his shit together.  But he told her he did need it and he wanted it.  She’d told him he was welcome to stay as long as he wanted.  He’d sponsored a nineteen-year-old boy a year earlier, but the kid had disappeared shortly after joining the group.  He was found dead a few months later from an overdose.  Sam hadn’t said anything, but Jenna knew it bothered him.  She wanted to give him another shot at success.  Really, though, and it was something she tried to impress upon sponsors, they had no control over what the person they sponsored did, nor should they feel that way.  They were there to be a sounding board, to listen,