Read Rita Lakin_Gladdy Gold_01 for Free Online Page B

blood pressure."
    "And I have six other tables to worry about. Think,
dollink, I'll be back."
    Lottie leaves and we all glare at Ida.
    "Enough, already," I say.
    "Why? I'm enjoying myself." She leans back, relaxed.
    "Meanwhile, I'm starving," wails Sophie. She takes a bite
of a sour pickle on the tray. "This is good."
    "Then you should spit it out," says Bella, being bossy.
    "Why?" Sophie asks mid-bite.
    "My doctor says if it tastes good, then it's bad for you."
    Evvie ignores this exchange and shakes a fist at Ida.
"Why can't you behave? You are ruining Francie's birthday party."
    "You certainly are," adds Francie, pretending annoyance.
    Now that we've ordered, the bottles come out of the
purses and the vitamins and the prescription drugs are lined up. Bella
gasps. "I'm out of my Zantac. What should I do?"
    "Tomorrow is another day," says our Sophie
philosophically.
    "I always take it before dinner."
    Ida digs around in her purse. "I have some." She takes
one out. As she hands it to Bella, "I'll take two dollars now, thank
you."
    Evvie swats her with her purse. "How can you! You would
sell seltzer to a dying man in the desert!"
    Ida is insulted. "My late husband, Murray, taught me that
business is business. Supply and demand. Bella just demanded. I just
supplied. I get paid. It's the American way."
    Bella's eyes start to tear up. Francie takes a tissue
from her purse and hands it to her. "Now you've done it."
    "What did I say? I was talking about my Murray."
    The tears flow harder, followed by pathetic little
hiccups. Evvie rolls her eyes heavenward. "You said the
h
word.
As in 'husband.' As in dead and not here anymore and we never go there!
And furthermore, Zantac only costs a dollar seventy-five, you gonif!"
    "Oh, if only my Abe, my angel, was here, things would be
different." Bella was now going out on an old limb. Things would be
different, all right, and not for the better. As the years pass, Abe's
memory gets a whitewash. The mean-spirited, domineering Abe who often
brought her to tears now brings her to tears because she's rewritten
history. Now he's a saint!
    Lottie is back. Ida sees five sets of steely eyes glaring
at her. She shrugs. "I'm ready. Where were you? I'll have the noodle
soup and it better be hot. Salad, oil and vinegar and no cucumbers. The
steak rare and that doesn't mean well-done or medium or raw. Potatoes
mashed and leave out your usual lumps. Oh, yes, and make sure we all
have separate checks."
    Lottie just stands there.
    "What?" Ida asks, all innocence.
    "Are you finished, Mrs. Have-it-your-way? I wouldn't want
to miss something of vital importance."
    Haughty now: "Yes, thank you. That will be all, my good
woman."
    "Oy," says Sophie, "I wish the food would get here so I
can take home the leftovers."
    And it goes downhill from there. Ida sends her soup back
because it isn't hot enough. Bella chokes on a chicken bone. Ida pulls
Bella's arms over her head and pounds on her back. Evvie makes her eat
a piece of bread because that's supposed to prevent the bone from
stabbing her. Francie makes her do special breathing. Sophie makes her
blow her nose to free the passages. I am on standby in case we need the
Heimlich, but finally, the bone is gone, and everyone takes credit for
her method.
    We give Francie her presents, apparently many minds with
similar brainstorms. They all give her pretty soaps or bath salts.
Francie good-naturedly wonders if we are trying to tell her something
about her personal hygiene. I, of course, give her a book. A cookbook.
    We all order dessert, but none of us eats it. We never
do. There is always too much food to eat and dessert is taken home to
be indulged in later. Naturally, Francie, the chocoholic, orders the
chocolate cake with chocolate icing.
    And finally the check comes. One check. Ida has a small
fit, but there is nothing we can do but figure out who had what, which
need I say takes another half an hour. Leaving the tip is one of the
heavy decisions of eating out.