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picked me up as if I weighed nothing.
    “What the fuck did you give her?”
    “It’s nothing,” I replied, my hands caressing Blaine’s face. “I forgive you for wanting to pass me around like a present. Am I? A gift or some such shit for Zed? Is it his birthday?”
    Blaine’s blue eyes coldly glared at Xavier. “What’s she on?”
    “Just vodka and Oxy,” I replied.
    “You fucking prick—you know people die from that shit, right? It’s the reason why Jocelyn isn’t here and you gave it to her? What the hell is going on in this house? You’re usin’ pharmaceuticals and Zed is high on coke and marijuana. Must I do everything around here myself for it to be done correctly?”
    His brother shrugged. “Not my problem she heard you two talking about her and was scared out of her wits. If I hadn’t sedated her like I did, she would have bolted. Thought I was doin’ you a favor—”
    “Next time, don’t!” Blaine turned around and carried me upstairs.
    I hummed to “Body Electric” playing in my head before being unceremoniously dumped on a bed. I sat up, expecting for it to be my suite but this one was overly formal and completely male, dominated by the colors chosen and the choice of furniture—or lack thereof.
    “Is this your room?”
    “Yes and no.” Blaine began to pace before he slammed one of the double doors in fury. “I rarely stay here. I have a loft and a studio in the Pacific Palisades and I stay there mostly. You know why? Sometimes I can’t handle their antics and this one goes beyond the pale. Giving you drugs ? They both know I have absolutely no tolerance for that shit.”
    My adrenaline spiked again, and I stood before I strolled directly in the path he was pacing. “Maybe it’s because I had to hear how you have ‘zero fascination’ with virgins and how Zed was free to do what he wanted with me until you were ready to ‘break me in.’ Yeah, that was gonna make me feel real welcome downstairs so excuse-fucking-Xavier if he wanted to stop me from running because I would have if it wasn’t for him and the drugs.”
    He laughed out loud before his arm shot out and he wrapped his hand around my throat. “You’re not goin’ anywhere, sweetheart. Unless you wanna come with me to my loft. You can stay here or there. As for running . . . they’ll be none of that.”
    “Why? What are you going to do to me?” I shot back.
    “I will fucking break your neck like a breadstick.” He began to squeeze and my air supply was completely cut off. Being high and drunk, I was slow to react yet even if I’d been sober, there was no way I could have clawed him off of me.
    I finally gave up fighting and he let go. I dropped to the Persian rug like a rag doll and tried to catch my breath in a fit of coughing.
    Blaine was immediately over me, his body covering mine as he spread my legs and fitted himself between them. “Is that what you want? For me to break you in? Seriously? I don’t want to deal with broken hymens and what not. It hasn’t been my thing in a long time, not since I was sixteen. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll let your first time be with Zed.”
    “What if I want you?” I questioned, my voice small.
    He leaned into me, his breath smelling minty fresh while his lips looked like they tasted of sin. “Listen to me, you don’t know what you want. A few minutes ago, you were all over Xavier like a cheap suit. Now you say you want me. This is the precise reason why I don’t fuck chicks who are high either. Sleep it off and then we can talk.”
    Blaine stood and left me there in the middle of the floor, utterly humiliated as I broke down and cried myself to sleep.

     

     

     
    I awoke to the sound of the ocean crashing against the shore while seagulls cawed in the background. My head felt stuffed with cotton wool and my mouth tasted like a pack of week old cigarettes had taken up residence. In one word, I felt like complete and utter shit.
    Unlike many people who