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never ac tually resolved it. Instead he’d put it out of his thinking until now, until he and his family were the ones praying desperately for life, begging God for Hayley’s next breath.
    He hung his head and laced his fingers along the back of his neck. Don’t do that to her, God …. If you bring her back, bring her back all the way. Anger welled within him, and he wanted to grab the nearest magazine and throw” it across the room. He was a doctor, after all. A doctor! And here he was completely helpless to do anything for his little granddaughter.
    God… I want her to live …. He worked his fingers into his neck muscles. But if she won’t be the same.., if Hayley isn’t Hayley 33
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    anymore, if she can’t play with Maddie or recognize Brooke—then God, maybe it would be better if you”John?”
    “Yes…” He looked up and saw one of his colleagues at the door. Dr. Zach Martinez specialized.in brain injuries; the two of them had finished med school together and started practicing in Bloomington the same year.
    The man’s face was grim. “Could I speak to you?”
    John gave Elizabeth a look as he stood and followed the doc tor out of the room.
    When they were a ways down the hallway, Zach turned to him and pursed his lips.
    “The situation isn’t good, John. You know that.”
    “Yes.” John’s knees shook. His arms hung weak at his sides. “Can you tell anything about her brain yet?”
    “It’s damaged.” The doctor breathed hard through his nose. “We can see that much.”
    “Meaning?” John was playing two roles today, doctor and grandfather. But here and now he wanted Zach to see him as a doctor, someone who could be trusted with the news, no matter how bad.
    “She has severe brain damage, John.”
    John took the news like a bullet, the sensation so strong he staggered back a step. “Severe?”
    “Yes.” He clenched his jaw. “But that’s not the worst of it. Honestly, the team wanted me to ask you about…”
    John searched the man’s face. The hallway was spinning, and he took hold of the railing that lined the wall. “About what?”
    “Whether the family would consider organ donation.” Zach held up a hand. “I know it’s too soon, but if she dies, John, we need to know what to do.”
    The floor fell away, and John tightened his grip on the safety railing. “They…
    they don’t think she’s going to make it?”
    “Her brain’s swelling, and it’s only been hours.” His voice fell. “Swelling can last for three days after a drowning.”
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    “I know…” John leaned against the wall. “Have you talked to Brooke and Peter?”
    “Yes.” The man bit his lip. “They wanted me to tell you so… so you can help them make a decision.”
    A decision? About whether their three-year-old granddaughter should be cut apart and doled out to a handful of sick kids? The idea seemed ludicrous, as if it were happening to someone else, one of his patients, maybe, or someone on a movie set. But not to him, not to John Baxter.
    He closed his eyes and saw Hayley the way she’d looked at his house a few nights ago. She’d been playing with baby Jessie, standing behind her, helping her walk toward Kari.
    “That’s it, Hayley. What a good little cousin.” Hayley had bent down and planted a kiss on the top of Jessie’s head. “Okay, honey. Keep walking to mama.”
    The image broke apart. He opened his eyes and Zach was still standing there, still waiting for an answer. John planted his feet a ways apart and let go of the railing. “Okay—” he gritted his teeth—’I’ll talk to them.”
    By the time he returned to the waiting room, Brooke and Peter were there. Peter sat next to Ryan, his head back against the hospital wall, eyes vacant. Brooke was pale, her lips tight, face drawn, caught between Ashley’s and Kari’s embrace. As John entered the room, Peter caught his eye.
    “We …” John coughed and searched for a strength he couldn’t muster on