believe in cursed woods in the same way that he had not believed in the legends of monsters living beneath the ground, waiting for darkness so that they could emerge. Those tales had been part of childhood. Adults knew better than to believe in such fantasies. My father would bring my mother to the tower occasionally to enjoy the solitude and life away from court. It was hard to fathom wanting solitude. I had more of it than I could stand.
I was almost two years old before Sivo and Perla realized my condition. I was already walking, running, and talking. I behaved as a normal toddler in the confines of our tower, if not too active for Perlaâs tastes. She would laugh and say that I needed a leashâa fact that almost came to pass when she caught me scaling the wall tapestry in my bedchamber. I was almost to the domed ceiling. She was overwhelmed inthose days. With my lack of caution, life was just as dangerous within the tower as it was out of it.
I behaved as though I possessed sight, recklessly barreling full speed ahead. They only discovered the truth because Perla asked me to pick out the blue ribbon for my hair one morning and I handed her the green. I didnât understand blue. Upon further investigation, she realized I didnât understand the difference between porridge and stew until I tasted them. I couldnât understand because I couldnât see.
And apparently I couldnât identify when a boy stood before me naked either. Strangely enough, this was both a relief and a disappointment.
I bit my lip, my teeth sinking in and clinging deep to the sensitive flesh until I tasted the copper tang of blood. Fowler was naked in front of me. I released my lip and inhaled a raw breath that expanded my lungs.
I lifted my chin as though I wasnât completely unnerved. My lack of vision had never felt like a handicap before. Not as it did in this moment.
He was naked.
I inhaled his scent and it was stronger, proof that not a stitch of clothing covered his body. The salt and musk of his skin hit me sharper than beforeâand something else. Another scent that was indecipherable to me. I felt it as much as I smelled it. It was raw and deep and visceral. My skin almost ached from the presence of it, pulling tight and breaking out into gooseflesh. My stomach knotted like a thousandbutterflies were rioting inside me.
âWhat d-did you say?â I demanded as though I hadnât heard. As though âyou canât seeâ wasnât running over and over in my mind.
âYou heard me,â he replied evenly, his voice without inflection.
âOf course I can see.â I channeled all my feelings, outrage, shock, fearâother unidentifiable thingsâinto a reaction that I hoped translated into bemusement. Not panic. âOf course I can see.â
He took his time responding. âYouâre lying.â
I shook my head.
He continued, âYour face burns red right now, but not before. Not when you first walked in here.â
âYouâre wrong,â I insisted.
âNo. Not about this Iâm not.â
I turned then, managing a shrug.
âWhy donât you admit it? You think Iâll see it as a weakness? Is that it?â
That was exactly what Perla and Sivo thought, but everything in me rebelled at this.
âIâm not weak.â My voice shook out of me, a tremor on the air that seemed to belie my words.
He stepped closer. The air grew thicker and I felt the subtle ripple in its flow as he shook his head. âI know youâre not weak.â
I inhaled. My chest felt too tight. He was close enough for me to touch and the memory of his skin, smooth and hard under my fingers, roped with sinew like one of the rangy wolvesthat hunted the woods, plagued me. Touching, feeling another human, someone who wasnât Sivo and Perla, who wasnât family, was as strange to me as the idea of sunlight that lasted half the day every day.
His voice hit me