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knife,’ he said. He selected one from the knife rack. ‘That’s better, it’s got a bit of weight to it.’ He tested the blade with his thumb and then produced a steel. He gave it several passes before he was satisfied.
    She picked up the knife and made to cut off the root. ‘No!’ said Gideon. ‘Leave the root on, or it’ll bleed and make you cry more. Now slice it in half.’ He nudged her out of the way and took hold of the onion and held it. ‘This way, if the knife slips you won’t cut yourself. Either use the bridge’ – he placed his fingers over the onion – ‘or the claw.’ He shifted his position. ‘See? Show me.’
    Zoe, feeling thoroughly undermined, and on camera too, made a few tentative cuts.
    ‘Better,’ said Gideon, less aggressive now he was teaching her. ‘Try it like this …’
    Two minutes later, Zoe was chopping onions like a pro. Gideon might have been brusque but he was a good teacher.
    Gideon and the camera had gone to where Alan was putting eggs on to boil but Dwaine was looking at her pityingly. ‘I can’t believe you entered a competition like this without knowing how to chop onions.’
    ‘Oh shut up,’ said Zoe calmly. ‘I passed the audition, same as you did.’
    ‘Yes but really—’
    ‘Leave her alone!’ said Muriel. ‘She’s doing fine. And what about you? Are you ready?’
    Gideon, having swooped in like a trouble-shooting eagle and given nearly everybody some advice, left them to get on with it. It was only the contestants and a camera team.
    ‘Ok.’ Cher came in with a slip of paper. ‘There are some people in, and they want like, something really quick?’
    ‘Can’t they read the menu?’ growled Dwaine, determined to play the grumpy chef.
    ‘Yeah, but what can they have that is quick?’ insisted Cher.
    There was silence while everyone looked at the menu. Nothing seemed really quick. Even the cassoulet that just needed heating up would take a few minutes to assemble.
    ‘What about a sandwich?’ suggested Muriel.
    ‘They want something hot,’ said Cher.
    ‘Toasted sandwich?’ suggested Zoe. ‘I spotted some of those bag things.’
    ‘Good idea,’ said Muriel. ‘Pop the toaster on, Alan.’
    ‘Just who is in charge here?’ roared Dwaine. ‘Toasted sandwiches are not on the bloody menu!’
    ‘What’s the quickest thing then?’ asked Cher impatiently.
    ‘I don’t know but I don’t serve bloody sandwiches!’ sulked Dwaine.
    ‘They don’t take long, and in the real world, if they go away happy they’re more likely to come back,’ Muriel was standing firm.
    ‘But sandwiches are not on the menu!’ repeated Dwaine. ‘They can’t have something that’s not on the menu just because it’s quick!’
    ‘But how long does it take to make a sandwich?’ said Zoe, who felt they could have had them melting away in the toaster by now.
    ‘About ten seconds if people don’t waste time arguing about it,’ said Muriel.
    ‘I’m with Dwaine,’ said Cher. ‘I don’t think they should be allowed to go off piste like this. How long does it take to make risotto?’
    Zoe exchanged glances with Muriel. ‘I’ll go and ask what they’d like,’ said Zoe. ‘Risotto takes ages.’
    Muriel nodded. ‘And don’t forget, you two, this is a competition. And the customer is always right. What will the judges think if we let customers go away without being served? It’s up to us to give them what they need.’
    ‘I’m not here to making fucking sandwiches!’ Sensing Cher’s back-up, Dwaine took the brakes off his language as the sound boom swung round.
    ‘We’ll do it then,’ said Zoe. ‘Muriel’s right. People come here for a hot snack, we have a kitchen, we’ll give them one! Go out there and tell them, please Cher!’
    Cher folded her arms and shook her golden head.
    Things were getting out of hand. This was their first task and already they were at each other’s throats. So much for teamwork. Zoe sighed, pulled off her chef’s hat,