Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs

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Book: Read Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs for Free Online
Authors: Gerry Bartlett
Tags: Horror & Ghost Stories
such force that I screamed and we came together with a shudder that seemed to go on forever. When the tremors finally stopped, we leaned against each other and just held on.
    “Viva Las Vegas,” I whispered. I heard and felt Jerry’s tired chuckle rumble through his chest against my cheek just before there was a knock outside the door.

Three

    “ Glory , you’ve got to tell me what happened in there. Your mind has been closed as tight as a—”
    “Quit badgering me, Valdez. They had private booths. Blade and I had ‘fun.’ That’s all. Do I need to draw you a picture?” I turned and saw that my bodyguard had shifted back into his usual Labradoodle form during the ride up in the elevator. “When we get into the suite, cool it. You know Ray and I are ‘engaged’ so we have to put on the lovey-dovey act. Do your thing and quit pouting about being left outside.”
    I was just glad we hadn’t run into a MacDonald ambush once Jerry and I had left the club. But I guess Ian had really had an appointment. To keep up my charade as Ray’s fiancée, Jerry’d dropped me off behind the hotel again. So now I was back there and about to enter rock-star world again. Trust me, it’s not as glamorous as I’d once dreamed it would be. This week was all about work for Ray. He’d had a heck of a time setting up his interviews and rehearsals after dark. His new vampire status had done a number on his career.
    I slid the key card into the lock and threw open the door. Usually I’d catch at least a few of his band members and their ladies hanging around, along with Ray’s best friend and manager, Nathan Burke. Music always shook the walls, whether from the stereo system, the big-screen TV or, what was really cool, the guys jamming on their instruments.
    Tonight it was quiet. Too quiet. The living room was empty. Well, except for the debris, evidence that mortals had enjoyed room service and the bar. The two bedroom doors, on either side of sliding glass doors leading out to the balcony, were closed. Ray and I shared one and Nathan slept in the other. Valdez would’ve made it a cozy threesome in ours if I’d let him. But I figured he could guard both of us quite well from a spot on the living room couch.
    Blade signs V’s paychecks. The only things I let my lover pick up the tab for are the bodyguard gig and our dates. We’ve had this arrangement for centuries and I’ve come to terms with it. I sure couldn’t afford daylight protection and Valdez is way better than me burying myself in the dirt every day. Well, you get the picture.
    I guess I’m lucky Jerry has this responsibility thing because he made me vampire. I’m pretty independent otherwise. So we compromised. Right now we’re together, but there have been decades when we haven’t been. The bodyguards made Jerry feel better about that. Keeping them in dog form is Jerry’s way of making sure I didn’t enjoy the bodyguard a bit too much. Yeah, he’s the jealous type. Which is kind of cute, actually.
    Seriously, though, if I decided to make love to every man in this hotel, I was free to do so, thank you very much. Unfortunately, until I spelled out for V that I wanted alone time with Ray, Valdez was going to, pardon the expression, dog us until we passed out at sunrise to make sure all we did was sleep in our bedroom.
    I usually didn’t have a problem with V’s protectiveness. Vamps are dead all day, literally. The V-man kept out anyone who dared try to enter the bedroom while we’re “asleep.” The housekeepers knew that firsthand. Nathan had tipped them big to make sure they only made up the bedrooms after dark.
    “Ray? Nathan?” I walked over to our bedroom. I always knocked as a courtesy even though I’ve seen Ray naked. It had been a pure pleasure and I wouldn’t mind a replay. Not that we’ve been lovers, darn it. Okay, not really “darn it.” When Jerry and I are together, like we are now, I’m true to him. But what woman with an ounce of

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