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I’m not going to be able to keep him away from Dylan the underwear model and her comedic stylings.
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Comments:
    Logged in at 7:43 PM, EST
    PiaBallerina: Why don’t you just call Roger and ask him if you can go?
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7:57 PM, EST
    Doesn’t that seem desperate, Pi?
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Comments:
    Logged in at 8:03 PM, EST
    kweenclaudia: more desperate than bribing him with gifts and media coverage?
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8:17 PM, EST
    Good point.

Thursday, November 25
    4:35 PM, EST
    Gobble Gobble, Kitties!
    A Very Special Thanksgiving
    Raisin: Hi, Roger. This is Raisin. Okay, this is a little weird, but I know that your bar mitzvah is on Saturday and that you invited the whole grade. Well, the thing is, I’m also part of the grade, but I didn’t get an invitation, so I was wondering if—
    Roger: (interrupting) I thought I already invited you.
    Raisin: Oh. You didn’t.
    Roger: Okay, right. The invitations went out the last week of summer vacation. Before I knew you.
    Raisin: Well, you know me now. . . .
    Roger: True. Okay, you can come.
    Raisin: Thank you, thank you, thank you sooooo m—
    Roger: (interrupting again) Can I go back to the football game now?
    Raisin: Sure.
    Roger: Okay, ’bye.
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5:56 PM, EST
    A Very Special Thanksgiving, Part II
    Horse Ass: Let’s all go around the table and name something we’re thankful for. I’ll start. This has been a very special year for me. Not only did I marry the most wonderful woman in the world, I got her two beautiful daughters along with the package. In the business world, this would be called “getting a good deal.” (HA chuckles to himself; more business jokes I don’t get or want to get. Blah, blah, blah . . .) “Raisin, how’d you like to go next?”
    Raisin: (clears her throat) I’m sorry, I’ve been chewing on the same piece of celery for like seven minutes now and it won’t go down. Can someone else go first?
    HA: Sam, I know you feel as lucky as I do to have completed our “merger” (heh, heh, heh). Would you like to say a few words about it?
    Sam: Actually, Dad, I’m not feeling very well. Can I go to my room?
    HA: (looking very disappointed) Sure, sweetheart. We’ll miss you.
    Sam: Mind if I take my plate with me? Y’know, just in case I get hungry?
    Sam shovels extra portions of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and cranberry sauce onto her plate and excuses herself to her room. Raisin has never seen Sam eat that much food in all the meals they’ve eaten together combined.
    HA: Raisin, are you ready yet?
    Lola: (pounding on the table) No! It’s my turn. My turn. MyturnmyturnmyturnmyturnmyturnMY! TURN!
    HA: Raisin?
    HA looks to Raisin for the go-ahead. Raisin nods. HA in turn gives Lola the go-ahead.
    Lola: It is NOT my turn.
    Mom: (feeling very uncomfortable for HA) Horace, dear, the turkey’s getting cold. Why don’t we all just take a private moment to think about what we’re grateful for and then dig in?
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10:56 PM, EST
    A Very Special Thanksgiving, Part III
    Raisin: (Standing in the adjoining bathroom she shares with Sam. Knocks on Sam’s bedroom door. Doesn’t wait for Sam’s response before entering.) Sam, Mom wants to know how—
    Suddenly Raisin sees that Sam is not alone. In fact, she is sitting on her boyfriend Sid’s lap. But quickly jumps off.
    Sam: (whisper-shouts) Raisin! The rule is that until that lock is fixed, everyone has to wait until I answer before they can come in.
    Raisin: (eyes welling up with tears) I forgot. I’m sorry.
    Sam: Forget it. It’s fine. Just swear to me you won’t tell our parents.
    Raisin: I swear I won’t. I mean, I’ve never said a word up until now, so why would I start?
    Sam: Okay. Fine. Just don’t slip up.
    Raisin turns to walk out of the room, then has a really smart idea.
    Raisin: Hey, Sam? You know that green velvet dress you have? The one with the jacket that ties in a satin bow