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over there.”
    â€œHark,” Titus said. “I hear the merry squealing of little curly-tail! Bless. How happy her short life must be. There she stands, all unknowing, innocent as to the tragic fate that awaits her. The cleaver, the sawdusty abattoir floor. The
(whisper)
sausages, the bacon, the spareribs, the salamis—”
    â€œDad.” Pandora ignored Titus entirely, positioning herself between her beetroot-red, panting parent and her palely malevolent brother. “Dad, you’re not hiding anything from us, are you?”
    It was fortunate for Luciano that he was already bright red, or Pandora would have immediately spotted the guilty pink flush sweeping across his face.
    â€œYou’re…you’re not
ill,
are you?” Giving voice to this terrifying possibility, Pandora’s voice was barely audible over the whine of the exercise bike’s whirring pedals.
    Don’t,
Titus begged silently.
Don’t, don’t, don’t.
    â€œI mean, you would tell us if you had something awful, like…like ca—”
    â€œSTOP IT!” Titus roared. “Just shut
up,
would you? Dad, make her stop, for God’s sake. She’s always doing this. I can’t stand it. Her mouth. It’s just—it’s—”
    â€œCome on. Both of you. Enough. Calm down.” Luciano was trying to disentangle his feet from the toe clips on his exercise bike. Unfortunately, he could only manage to release himself from one, and trapped embarrassingly by the other, he was engaged in a doomed attempt to shake himself free. Trying to pretend he wasn’t making a complete idiot of himself, he carried on as if nothing was happening. “The doctor, um…he said…Ah, damn this stupid thing.”
    â€œI thought you had Dr. Holgram.”
    â€œYes, Pandora, I
do
go to Dr. Holgram,” Luciano snapped. Now he had partially dismounted from the bike’s saddle, but with one foot still trapped, he was forced to hop on the spot as he tried and failed to release the offending toe clip.
    â€œWell, Dr. Holgram’s female, not male. You said
he
said—”
    â€œDAMMIT, PANDORA!” roared Luciano, toppling sideways and crashing into the disused fireplace, the bike slowly tipping over and falling on top of him. “Who
cares
if he’s a she or whatever? Whose
business
is it if I’ve decided to improve my fitness? Why do you and your mother always subject me to the Spanish Inquisition if I do anything out of the ordinary? Why won’t you just go away and leave me in
peace
?”
    All of which, of course, convinced Pandora that her father wasn’t telling the truth.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â 
    â€œTitus?” Pandora was sitting on the exercise bike, which, several days later, was still missing one of its toe clips and looking rather the worse for wear after its brief encounter with the iron grate of the disused fireplace. She took a deep breath. “It’s just, oh, um, Titus, I know I’m probably being an idiot, but it’s so unlike Dad to pay any attention to what he looks…I mean, how he…it’s, like, he’s
Dad
. He’s always been, like…like…”
    Titus glared at her. Slowly he raised his eyebrows. “Like?” He shrugged. “Like
what
? He’s like Dad always is. Nothing’s changed, as far as I can see. So what if he’s going through a keep-fit phase? Better that than turning into a couch potato.”
    â€œYeah, Titus. I guess you’re right.” Although she agreed with Titus’s assessment, Pandora’s voice lacked conviction. “Dad’s just getting older. Perhaps he’s having a midlife crisis thing. Probably something to do with growing bald…. It’s just, oh, he’s my
dad
. It’s…”
    Mine too,
Titus thought, wondering if he’d be forgiven for gagging his sister and locking her in the dungeons. Just for a year or