from his car. She didn’t.
I released a sigh. I didn’t run because I’d grown up swimming at the country club pool. One of the perks of living on the golf course was unlimited access to the clubhouse. Until the divorce, I’d had a big, fancy country club pool all to myself every afternoon. The outdoor pool was busy all summer, but for some reason, most people didn’t swim otherwise. I swam out my frustrations. I swam to think. I swam for fun. By fourth grade, I’d joined the swim team and I hadn’t stopped swimming since. In the water, I was weightless, fast, and strong. Thanks to dad’s infidelity, I didn’t want his money for college, so I had to put my sport to work for me and earn a swim scholarship. Team practices didn’t start until November first, but Coach let me swim any time I wanted as long as he was there working, which he almost always was, and I took full advantage.
Liam shut his car door and stared at me. I stood alone in the space where Allison’s car had sat all morning. My mouth opened. A hundred words circled in my head. I wasn’t stalking him. I was in the lot when he got there. My cheeks burned with humiliation. I wasn’t the freak who dropped things and knocked into people and stood alone in parking lots staring. I wasn’t that girl.
Until he showed up.
I turned on my heel, unable to find my voice, and strode away. I didn’t stop walking until I threw my apple core away, went through the lunch line, bought a fruit salad and collapsed into a chair at my usual table. Justin watched me sort through my bag and retrieve the bottle of water Mom gave me for breakfast. I took my time unscrewing the lid and sipping. The thickness in my throat eased with each swallow.
“Feeling okay?” Justin’s elbows spread wide on the table around a tray of sandwich wrappers and napkins. I’d missed more than half of my lunch period. The twinkle in his eye suggested my behavior amused him. As usual.
“Mmm hmm.” I popped the lid off my fruit container and unwrapped a plastic fork. Lunchroom sounds pounded through my head. Chairs scraped against ancient marble floors. Banging lockers doors reverberated in my skull. Voices meshed in the air, creating a cacophony of ugly noise. I rubbed one temple with the heel of my hand.
“You ran through the lunch line like the devil was chasing you.” He inspected my meal. “Or was that the last fruit salad on earth?”
“Fruit is no laughing matter. I didn’t sleep well. I have a headache, and I’m starving.” I stabbed a hunk of melon and shoved it in my mouth.
“I waited for you at your locker before lunch. Allison was looking for you, too. Where’d you go?”
“I was at her car. I needed Tylenol.” I shoveled fruit between my lips before more lies fell out.
Concern lined his forehead. “You want to go home? I can take you if you need a ride.”
“I’m okay.”
I scanned the scene around me for Oliver. Whoever he was, he looked like Liam, according to the gossip. He must be worth looking at because Allison would never consider dating a junior. In fact, the minute she started taking courses at the community college, she’d sworn off high school boys forever, including those in our senior class. A good decision on her part. The pickings were slim. We’d grown up together. It sounded sweet when couples said those things later in life, but in truth it was awful. Everyone always knew who and what everyone else had been up to, which made it hard to take guys seriously.
Small towns were complicated. Half the time news and gossip spread instantly, the other half of the time secrets were fiercely protected. An equation that had never worked out in my favor. Like when I’d had a boyfriend with a sex life on the side and I’d been clueless, like Mom, until I saw it. Sometimes, I thought if Hannah had told me she’d dropped her earring and went looking for it in Kirk’s lap mouth-first, I might’ve preferred the lie. Surely people knew Kirk was