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There were so many times when Ethan had dropped his guard, only to put it up again when he realized that he was showing feelings beyond what our arrangement supported.
    “I don’t know what to do, doc. I know that after what happened the last time, I should give him the space and time that he needs to communicate but I can’t help the way that I feel. If he doesn’t let go, then it will only be a matter of time before we have to go our separate ways. I made a promise to myself to stand behind him every step of the way and I plan to honor that promise but I also don’t want to spend the rest of my life in a relationship that can’t be anything more than great sex. I want to be in a ‘real’ relationship with someone who I feel loves me with all of his heart, not just pieces of it. I know that I am grasping at straws here, but how about I talk to him about coming to see you with me? It’s the only way that he will even consider it, if he thinks it’s all about me and nothing to do with him.”
    “Emily, you are playing on a slippery slope and I have to counsel you on not tipping your hand. I know that you have his best interest at heart but do you remember what happened when your friends thought the same thing about you?”
    “Sigh. You’re right, doc. I didn’t even think about that. It almost destroyed my friendship with Ronnie and Mark, and it took some doing to find our way back to one another. I can identify with how dreadful that feeling of betrayal felt. I was so angry and hurt by what they did. I would never intentionally make someone else feel that way, especially Ethan. I guess if he is not ready then I should just let it be and let him know that I’m there if he wants to talk. It is hard to do though.”
    “I know that it is hard, Emily, but I do feel that it is probably best and he’ll open up to you in time…in his own time. If you allow him to come to you, then the process for him to move on will feel more natural to him. He will feel this way because it will come from a place inside of him, where he feels no external pressure or expectation to share his pain. You still don’t know what his reasons are for not wanting to talk about it, Emily.”
    “What do you mean reasons? It is simple to me. He lost his first love and now it has ruined any other opportunities for women to come into his life. He has shut his heart down because he can’t let go and love again. It is a plain as day to me.”
    “Things are not always as simple as they may seem, Emily. There are many reasons that could contribute to Ethan’s behavior. How we as human beings process information differs vastly from one person to the other. If you were to show the same movie to two people and then ask them to describe it, I can almost guarantee that you will get a different explanation from each of them.”
    “I suppose, Susan, but until he shares the description of his real life movie with me, then I will never know what his reasons are for remaining closed. I love him, Susan, and I just want to help.” That was the first time that I told anyone how I felt about Ethan since I had admitted it to myself. I had not even confessed this to Ronnie, although she knew how I felt about Ethan.
    Susan had shown me many things over our time together and today was no disappointment. I was seeing things clearer than I ever had. I had to accept the fact that Ethan had his reasons for not wanting to discuss Henrietta and that he would do so in his own time. As much as I wanted to know more about her so that I could understand more about him, I had to drop the topic and give him the space that he needed.

    The following day I made an early start for work as I had much to do. I kept my head down and completed all that I had scheduled on my ‘To Do’ list. I left work and decided to pop into the grocers to pick up some basic supplies. As I was walking out of the shop, I noticed the fresh bell peppers on display. I smiled as I remembered how