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(which took a great interest in us to the great concern of their mothers), then over a few more fences until we arrived by the side of a rather big lake, all belonging to ESP. Then we’d trek up towards a little woodland, with the big house in the distance on the left, spotting some pigs higher up along the way. Fairly exhausted, we’d walk round to the yard at the back of the house and stop to look at the view of where we had just walked. It made you feel human, being allowed ‘out’, and the journey was quite a magical one, or so it seemed to me. We’d walk in rain and snow in the first few weeks and then as the weather improved towards the very end of my time there, in brilliant sunshine. I truly believe that those walks kept me sane and still united with the outside world. I tried to encourage as many people as possible to come but there were far too many girls, probably exhausted from a week’s work, who if they were not going out went back to bed after roll call and the 2p jobs. But some were as inspired as I was. One of the girls who always came had started a degree in horticultural landscaping and was just finishing year one of her course at a local college. I only saw her at the weekends and during those walks as she was out at college all week and working for her studies every other moment while in ESP.
    Saturday lunch at ESP is called brunch – and it was cholesterol-raising stuff: eggs, bacon, sausages and what I thought were called hush browns. This was the first time I’d come across them and when the kitchen lady mentioned them I said that the only hush something I knew were Hush Puppies, to the great amusement of everyone. But they were delicious and I always took the maximum two you were allowed, I enjoyed them so much. You’d also get mushrooms, baked beans and fried bread. I’m surprised we didn’t all die of heart attacks after eating such a meal. Porridge was on offer too and though I gave it a miss on that first day I soon started ordering it and taking it back to the dorm for my roommate, who would often miss brunch because of her morning activities . The truth is that I grew to like it, too, and often ended up having it myself as late night pudding cold on Saturday evenings – this while we were all watching
The Voice
on TV, which was definitely the most eagerly awaited programme of the week by my roommates, who preferred it to
Britain’s Got Talent
on the rival channel, which most of the rest of the residents preferred.
    Some people argue that you only understand prison if you have been in for a long time. I don’t agree. It seems to me you get the feeling and the ensuing claustrophobia after being in prison for just one night – and you become institutionalised very quickly. I found the change of regime in ESP after just four days in Holloway astonishing. For me it was all very welcome. But there were a number of people I spoke to who had come from closed prisons and for whom the transition was a difficult one as they had forgotten how to share (room sharing was just not popular)or how to interact with others. Frankly, for some it was also hard to start making decisions on their own in an environment which leaves you to get up on time, attend the early morning roll call downstairs, show up for work, get out of the prison if allowed and get back on time through your own efforts and manage to fill your time with your own initiatives. It transpired that a number of girls who had been in closed conditions for some time had on arrival asked to go straight back to closed prisons because they couldn’t cope with the albeit limited freedom.
    For me those were the very reasons why places like ESP are absolutely essential. I find it hard to understand how people can be put straight back into the community and expect to survive and find jobs that they can keep when they come out, even after short periods, from closed conditions and find that there isn’t anyone to tell them exactly what they