what was right, but filling out an application to give my baby away was harder than I ever dreamed possible. I had Google search for the best adoption attorney in the town of Knoxville every moment I was left alone. Just going through the long list of lawyers brought back memories of the days I spent in court after my rape. How on earth my mind would see fit I remembered every detail of that fateful day and only a handful of memories of Ethan was beyond me. It was almost a relief, I remembered my days in court. Focusing on those memories reprieved my mind from the true task at hand . . . finding a suitable home for my little miracle.
The doorbell rang followed immediately by three knocks. I raised my head. Sarah was on a date and Deacon was at work, so I had no choice but to answer it. The doorbell rang again as I closed my laptop and reached for my cane. I was still unsteady on my feet, and when I walked, a stabbing pain shot down my right leg.
“Coming,” I hollered as I made my way over to the door.
I swung open the door and felt a rush of confusion. An older but extremely beautiful man was propped against the doorframe. I was mesmerized by his gray eyes and long feathery lashes. He smiled showcasing the soft winkles around his eyes.
“Hey, beautiful,” he said and winked. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost, and I know I’m better looking than a ghastly ghost.”
Something about his face was familiar, but I couldn’t place where I knew him. I leaned against the door to steady myself. “Do I know you?”
“Huh,” he hummed and winkled his eyebrows together. “I’m Charlie, Ethan’s big brother.”
My heart sank to my feet. I felt like throwing up, screaming, or something. I squeezed the door, feeling like I was going to faint. “Ethan,” I whispered, stroking my belly, wondering where he was and why he sent his brother.
“Yeah. Dylan, are you okay?” he asked and gripped my arm.
I shook my head. “No, I’m not.” I motioned with my head for him to come in. “Have a seat.”
I should have been more cautious. I didn’t care. Nothing in my life was right. Maybe Charlie could shed a small sliver of light on the missing pieces.
“Ow, what happened to you?’ Charlie asked, eyeing my cane and obvious limp.
I strained to sit down less than gracefully before Charlie came over to help me. “I was in a pretty bad wreck at the end of November.”
Charlie fell back on the recliner and ran his hands through his hair. “You don’t remember me, do you?”
I nodded my head in agreement.
“Do you remember Ethan?”
I fingered the hem of my shirt. “I only have two or three memories.” I felt the tears form and squeezed my eyes shut to hold them in.
“Fuck, Dylan, I don’t know what to say. Do you want to see him?”
I looked at him blankly. I’d never been so confused and couldn’t figure out what was happening. A man who declared he was Ethan’s brother sat in my living room. He acted as if he had no idea I’d been hurt. Sarah talked to Ethan; surely, he knew. He had to know I was in the hospital. I sent him the letter stating that fact.
“Didn’t Ethan tell you?” I shook my head. “Sorry, I’m sure I haven’t been the topic of any of your conversations.”
Charlie cackled and slapped his leg. “We have had a few conversations about you. And, beautiful, I promise you he had no idea you’ve been hurt. You need to find him and talk to him.”
“He has to know; I wrote him a letter.”
“Well, sweetheart, he didn’t read it because he would be ballistic if he knew.”
I bit my lip. I had been running on fumes for weeks, and those fumes had finally run dry. The thought that Ethan would be upset I was hurt, that he might possibly want to see me was too much.
“Got a pen? Charlie asked.
I glanced at him and saw a look of concern in his eyes. Did he care? I wondered what he