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get why she’s with a freshman and not them. Sometimes I put my hand on her shoulder. This messes them up even more.
    Like today at lunch. She stops by my table to say she’s working an extra shift at Abercrombie so I need to find my own way home. Right when she’s telling me this some sophomore comes over and totally interrupts.
    HIM: These boys giving you trouble?
    Coops sneezed “Nehyyyy” because the guy had on one of those preppy polo shirts with the giant, steroided-out horse logo.
    Hud laughed. I choked on a curly fry.
    Then he started giving her a shoulder massage and telling her how tense she was and how she needed to relax. Hud and Coops looked at me like, are you okay with this? I wasn’t but I wasn’t okay with getting my ass kicked before tryouts either.
    Mandy wiggled him off like a spider and said: Stop it Lo-gan!
    Then Coops whispered:
Stop it Lo-go!
    We died at that.
    Then Mandy’s friend Morgan called him “sophomore” theway Bubbie Libby calls our nameless dogs “animals” and Megan said: Pervert.
    “Logo” put his hand on his heart/horse like he was all hurt and stuff, and said: Why d’ya have to take it there? I was just trying to be nice.
    ME: Nice would be you leaving us alone.
    The girls laughed—good for my ego, bad for my hoodie. Logo grabbed a handful of my fries, squeezed them between his sausage-fingers, and then smeared the potato guts on my back.
    Feeling = Slick guys are the worst.
    Three things I’ll never do:
    1. Talk like a cop and say, “These boys giving you trouble?”
    2. Tell a girl she looks tense.
    3. Name a kid Logan.
    I’d never dress like some doof in a magazine ad either. Gardner’s always getting some deal on designer brands but I wouldn’t take that stuff for free. High-tops are the only exception and that’s only because they don’t come in plain. I wish they did because someone stole my lucky Nike Air Maxes and Mom said they’re too expensive to buy again. It’s all because of that swoosh. It jacks up the price. I bet they’d cost twenty bucks without it. Anyway, I cover my swooshes with duct tape.
    Feeling = I don’t do labels. I don’t endorse for free.
    Anyway, I wasn’t about to let Logo get away with perving on Mandy and smearing on me. The guy had to be Wiped.
    I did my first Wipe when I was eleven. Amelia wrote a playcalled
Roll with the Punches
, about a girl named Jabby who falls down the stairs, ends up in a wheelchair, and becomes the best boxer in the world. Guess who played young Jabby?
    Amelia made me practice falling every day after school until I got it right. It was awesome. We still lose it when we remember the time I did it for my parents. They came home from the real estate office with pizza and all these fountain sodas. The minute they opened the door I went rolling. We tied toy trucks to my shoelaces so it would sound really loud and clanky. Like teeth and bones.
    I landed on my back and started twitching. Amelia and Mandy were cracking up. Mom started to cry. I was grounded for a month. It was worth it, though. Now I can fall like a stuntman.
    Feeling = Logo is going down after school.
    He takes the back stairwell, which was perfect. Fewer people meant fewer witnesses in case he decided to punch me or something. Hud and Coops were starting to laugh so I had to move fast. I snuck up behind Logo, and as soon as he cleared the first flight I turned to my side.
    I put out my hands to lessen the impact. Then I ducked and rolled. I made my legs go all wild so everyone thought my body was out of control. Then I screamed:
Whoa!!!!!!
It’s hard to describe the actual falling part because it happened so fast and I was spinning. But my landing was great. I bashed right into the back of Logo’s legs and knocked him and his energy drink to the ground. Hud and Coops were losing it. I had to curl up in fetal and hide my face inside my hoodie so he wouldn’t catch me laughing.
    LOGO: What the hell, dude?
    ME: Sorry, man, you okay? I