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her, why didn’t you just marry her? Why did you even get involved with me?”
    â€œFor one, she would have never married me. She would have made me spend time I did not have proving to her I was marriage material. It didn’t matter that I had money, prestige, or anything else. She knew I was not capable of giving her the one thing she wanted. The one thing she asked for over and over throughout the years of our relationship.”
    â€œAnd what was that?”
    â€œFaithfulness. All she wanted was to be my only woman.”
    This time I released a sigh. This situation seemed to be getting worse.
    â€œSo, let me guess. You repeatedly cheated on her, broke her heart, and you went after her again because you never really stopped loving her. You just couldn’t have her. And because she’s still in love with you, she fell for your advances, and in the process she got pregnant. Am I right?”
    He got up, slipped his phone into the pocket of his black Armani slacks, and went and stood in front of his bookshelf. Again his expression said it all. Without him needing to articulate it, I knew if he could really have what he wanted, his perfect world would include Leah and their child.
    â€œYes, you are correct,” he said, sounding defeated.
    â€œSo when you found out she was pregnant, you never suggested to her to have an abortion, because in some small way you feel like you owe her for everything you put her through. The baby is the only part of you she will always have, no matter what. And in turn, the baby keeps you connected to her.”
    With one hand resting on a shelf, he dropped his head, but it wasn’t before I saw tears forcefully escape his eyes.
    He really loved her.
    If I wanted information, I knew now was the time to get it. He was open and would probably answer any question I had.
    â€œHow far along is she?”
    â€œFour months.”
    That was easy. Next question.
    â€œDoes she live here? Does she go to our church?”
    â€œYes. No.”
    â€œIs she excited about the baby?”
    I knew I was pushing it, but I just had to know. I was getting rid of my baby in the morning. I wondered how she felt about hers.
    â€œShe has mixed feelings. She knows we will never be together now that I have this arrangement with you. She is not exactly enthused about having to raise our child in separate homes.”
    At least she was not overly excited. I could not bear to imagine her being elated about her child while I grieved mine.
    â€œUnderstandably so. So this contract with me and your image at the church mean more to you than being with the woman you are obviously in love with?”
    â€œAllyson, you will never understand. There are other things about me that you do not know, and I am too deep into this life I have created. It is about more than an image. This is my life. I am one of the few pastors who get called to CNN and MSNBC when tragedy strikes and they need a religious figure to weigh in on it. I am one of the few who are called when the president has a meeting and needs clergy in attendance.” He stopped and exhaled. “If this was fiction, I would just rewind the hands of time and start all over. But this isn’t fiction. This is real life.
    â€œShe has finally accepted I am not the knight in shining armor who will rescue her from love’s dungeon. And, unlike in the storybooks, we will never have our happily ever after. So I have decided I will make the best of whatever ending I get.” He moved back to his desk. “I’ll always love her. But I will have to continue what I have been doing for years, loving her from a distance.”
    He sat back down in his chair and, with the click of his mouse, gave me the signal that the conversation was over.
    The doors to his heart were now closed, and unfortunately, I was not the woman who could open them up again.

Chapter Five
    My navigation system guided me through the one-way streets, which