thought him harmless and pitiful. He had not seen Stephanie since their separation. He hoped she was happy but more importantly was grateful that she wasn't breeding.
Todd walked over to the bottle and took another long swig, washing Stephanie from his mind.
Fuck her. The past is the past.
The amber liquid burned its way down his throat and made his head feel hollow and light. Todd coughed a few times then turned the bottle up again, this time taking an even longer drink. The room tilted and Todd staggered a little.
Thinking about Stephanie had messed with his head, as if his head wasn't screwed up enough by what he was about to do. He hated to drink but he needed something to help him through this. This wasn't the type of thing he could ask Heimlich for advice on, at least not in a public forum.
He wished that he had the man's personal email address. Instead, he would have to make up his own mind on this one.
It was too late to punk out now. Terrence would be knocking on his door any minute. Todd only hoped that the stun gun would be enough to take the man down. He couldn't afford a gun and he didn't think that a knife would be threatening enough. The guy was so big that if Todd pulled a knife on him, he was afraid the guy would take it away from him and make him eat it. He'd have to ambush the big man and take him out quickly.
I must be fucking nuts, Todd thought. I can't do this. There's no fucking way I can do this.
Todd paced back and forth across the living room floor. He stopped and stared at the surgical tools for a long time, breathing heavily, heart racing, trying to imagine the type of pain the man would be in. It was unimaginable. He didn't know if he had it in him to continue if the guy were to wake up and start screaming. That would seriously freak him out. If only he could have gotten his hands on some type of narcotic but Todd didn't have a prescription for anything and he didn't have enough money left over to try to score heroine even if he had known where to get it. With his luck he'd have only wound up getting his ass robbed and murdered trying to score some horse from the vatos.
Todd plopped down on the couch and checked his Timex. It was 6:06 pm. The guy was late. Perhaps he wouldn't show at all. Todd tried to relax but he was still too amped up. He bounced his legs up and down rapidly and wrung out his hands.
Where the fuck is this guy? Maybe he won't show? This was crazy anyway. There's no way I could have gone through with it. I wouldn't have done it anyway. I'm not that kind of person. This is just sick. I'm not crazy.
Todd looked back over at the surgical instruments on the floor.
If I wasn't really going to do it then why'd I buy all of that stuff?
He looked down at the stun gun in his hand and then back over at the scalpel and the forceps. He could probably return the stun gun and the handcuffs but the medical supply store had a no return policy. Todd's doorbell rang.
Well, I did pay for all of this. It would be a shame not to use it.
He walked to the front door and opened it quickly.
"You're late."
"I know. I'm sorry. I know you told me not to be late but I had to wait for my mom to come home from work so I could use her car."
A look of confusion crossed the big man's face.
"What are you doing here anyway? Where's this guy I'm supposed to be meeting?"
Terrence looked over Todd's shoulder into the apartment. Todd hoped the big man couldn't see into the kitchen. If he saw the plastic on the floor with the scalpel on it he'd probably haul-ass out of there and call the cops. Then Todd would have had a lot of explaining to do, first to the cops and then to his supervisor at work.
Todd stepped backwards into the apartment, leaving the door open for Terrence to follow. Terrence walked in, still looking at Todd, waiting for an answer. Todd smiled and the big basketball player smiled back. He really did have a great smile.
"I'm here to help."
Todd placed the stun gun against the big