Read Playing Dirty for Free Online Page A
Authors: Jamie Ann Denton
only one hurting right now? The only thing outweighing his jealousy was guilt that he’d put them in this impossible situation.
“So did I.” Irritation lined her gaze along with a hint of the pain she’d suffered. “I hoped and prayed Paul had made a mistake. Prayed that the government was wrong, that it wasn’t your plane that had gone down. It took me over three years to finally accept that you weren’t ever coming back. Three years, Ford. You have no idea what I went through, so don’t come in here trying to make me feel guilty for moving on with my life.”
She came off the chaise, and for a moment he thought she was going to leave, but when she spun around to face him, anger radiated from her. He thought she never looked more beautiful.
“I thought you were dead,” she said, her gaze ruthlessly direct. “What happened to you? Where the hell have you been for the past five years?”
“Babe—”
Her hand shot up to stop him. “Don’t. I know that placating tone. Don’t you dare patronize me. I told you earlier, I won’t buy it this time. I think I’ve earned the right to know the truth.”
He didn’t want to lie to her, but he couldn’t tell her what he’d been through, the depths he’d succumbed to in order to stay alive one more day. One more hour. “Does it really matter at this point?”
“Why didn’t Paul tell me the truth? Why let me believe you were dead all these years?” she asked.
He stood and walked toward her. She looked ready to collapse. “Paul didn’t know,” he said. “No one did. Everyone believed I’d been killed along with the rest of my team.”
“Yet here you are.” She looked ready to cry again.
Gently, he took her hands in his. Mattie was no rookie when it came to his work as a SEAL. She understood he traveled the globe on covert assignments. While he’d never reveal the exact details, she was more than entitled to an explanation this time. “It’s over, Matt,” he said. “I’m home. Shouldn’t that be what matters now?”
She sucked in a deep, shaky breath and looked at him. “I wish it were that simple.”
The hairs on the back of his neck rose. “What do you mean?”
She shook her head, then looked away. When she looked back at him, fresh tears flooded her eyes and she drew in a ragged breath. “I could be pregnant.”
Mattie waited, her heart wrenching when his eyes filled with disbelief followed by a flicker of pain. The last thing she’d ever wanted to do was hurt him, but she had no choice but to be honest.
“Say that again,” he quietly demanded.
The sudden deadly calm surrounding him made her nervous and she took a tentative step back. Not out of fear. No, she’d never fear him. He’d rather die than hurt her. Even though they’d been separated for five years due to circumstances out of their control, she’d never doubt him in that respect. “I could be pregnant.”
He stared at her. She wished he’d say something, anything. Rant and rave, bluster and bellow, but he’d never been the blustering type. In the past, she’d always known when he was angry by the tensing in his jaw or a coldness in his eyes. She looked for those signs now and could find none. The tension was killing her.
He turned away and strode to the window overlooking the back yard. He shook his head, then looked at her. “Jesus, Mattie. Are you sure?”
She pulled in an unsteady breath. “Not one hundred percent. No. But you need to know it is a very real possibility.”
She knew the instant the shock wore off. That coldness she’d been searching for settled in and his expression hardened. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“You have a hell of a lot of nerve asking me that question.”
“You’re my wife,” he said, his voice as cold as marble.
“I was your widow,” she fired back at him. “Look, I get that this is uncomfortable for you. But no matter how diplomatic or how sensitive I try to be, someone is going to be
“So did I.” Irritation lined her gaze along with a hint of the pain she’d suffered. “I hoped and prayed Paul had made a mistake. Prayed that the government was wrong, that it wasn’t your plane that had gone down. It took me over three years to finally accept that you weren’t ever coming back. Three years, Ford. You have no idea what I went through, so don’t come in here trying to make me feel guilty for moving on with my life.”
She came off the chaise, and for a moment he thought she was going to leave, but when she spun around to face him, anger radiated from her. He thought she never looked more beautiful.
“I thought you were dead,” she said, her gaze ruthlessly direct. “What happened to you? Where the hell have you been for the past five years?”
“Babe—”
Her hand shot up to stop him. “Don’t. I know that placating tone. Don’t you dare patronize me. I told you earlier, I won’t buy it this time. I think I’ve earned the right to know the truth.”
He didn’t want to lie to her, but he couldn’t tell her what he’d been through, the depths he’d succumbed to in order to stay alive one more day. One more hour. “Does it really matter at this point?”
“Why didn’t Paul tell me the truth? Why let me believe you were dead all these years?” she asked.
He stood and walked toward her. She looked ready to collapse. “Paul didn’t know,” he said. “No one did. Everyone believed I’d been killed along with the rest of my team.”
“Yet here you are.” She looked ready to cry again.
Gently, he took her hands in his. Mattie was no rookie when it came to his work as a SEAL. She understood he traveled the globe on covert assignments. While he’d never reveal the exact details, she was more than entitled to an explanation this time. “It’s over, Matt,” he said. “I’m home. Shouldn’t that be what matters now?”
She sucked in a deep, shaky breath and looked at him. “I wish it were that simple.”
The hairs on the back of his neck rose. “What do you mean?”
She shook her head, then looked away. When she looked back at him, fresh tears flooded her eyes and she drew in a ragged breath. “I could be pregnant.”
Mattie waited, her heart wrenching when his eyes filled with disbelief followed by a flicker of pain. The last thing she’d ever wanted to do was hurt him, but she had no choice but to be honest.
“Say that again,” he quietly demanded.
The sudden deadly calm surrounding him made her nervous and she took a tentative step back. Not out of fear. No, she’d never fear him. He’d rather die than hurt her. Even though they’d been separated for five years due to circumstances out of their control, she’d never doubt him in that respect. “I could be pregnant.”
He stared at her. She wished he’d say something, anything. Rant and rave, bluster and bellow, but he’d never been the blustering type. In the past, she’d always known when he was angry by the tensing in his jaw or a coldness in his eyes. She looked for those signs now and could find none. The tension was killing her.
He turned away and strode to the window overlooking the back yard. He shook his head, then looked at her. “Jesus, Mattie. Are you sure?”
She pulled in an unsteady breath. “Not one hundred percent. No. But you need to know it is a very real possibility.”
She knew the instant the shock wore off. That coldness she’d been searching for settled in and his expression hardened. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“You have a hell of a lot of nerve asking me that question.”
“You’re my wife,” he said, his voice as cold as marble.
“I was your widow,” she fired back at him. “Look, I get that this is uncomfortable for you. But no matter how diplomatic or how sensitive I try to be, someone is going to be