it spiraling to the very bottom level, an area the protocol officer had told me was used mainly for star-viewing through its transparent walls.
The entire level appeared to be a squared-off bubble. Not only were the walls transparent, but so was the lower deck. Only the strips of alloy between the fitted sonic buffer panels and the exit from the lift seemed solid; the rest made it seem as if we walked through space itself.
I kept thinking of this, to prevent my mind from traveling in other directions.
"You have not spoken much since the meeting," Reever said.
Now he wishes me to speak. I turned away from him, and saw what appeared to be a crumpled, threadbare veil of red, yellow, and purple color pocked with tiny stars. Marel had once pointed it out to me from the viewport in Reever's quarters and called it a nebula. It looked like the sun shining through one of the clear ice pillars near a vent shaft, and made me long again for the clean, spare beauty of Akkabarr.
"Jam?"
Why was he using my name so much? I was not his beloved. "Yes?"
"Tell me what you are feeling."
"Content. This is a pretty place. I like looking at the stars." I dismissed all of the unhappy emotions from my mind and moved to stand in front of one deck-to-ceiling panel. "Will I have to report for an additional shift in Medical, to make up for the time I spent at the briefing?"
"No." He came up behind me, but he did not touch me. "Why don't you trust me?"
"I do trust you. You vowed to protect our child, and me, and I believed you." Would he put his hands on me now? He had tried to do so once, the first week I had been with him, but I had avoided the contact. Now that I was more accustomed to his presence, and his touch, I thought I might tolerate more of it—but not in this open space, where anyone could walk in on us. "How long are we to stay here? If I am not to work a shift, I would return to your quarters."
42 S. L Viehl
"Our quarters." He turned me to face him. "They are yours as much as mine."
They had been Cherijo's; I was only a guest in them. I shrugged instead of saying this.
"We need time alone." He moved his fingers over my cheek in a gentle manner; a caress like those an Iisleg man bestowed on a woman he wanted or who had especially pleased him. "I want you to stop sleeping in Marel's room."
That confused me. "Why? You never said I could not."
"I wished you to have enough time to adjust." He traced the lines of my mouth, his gaze intent.
"To adjust what?" I felt his body tighten and change, and then it became clear to me. When we had made this agreement, Reever had promised he would take no other women. To my knowledge, he had kept that promise. "You mean coupling with you? I do not have to sleep with you for that. I can go to sleep in the child's room after it is done."
His hand fell away. "You don't want me."
Want him? I hardly knew him.
"I am your wife. I know my duty. You had only to say." We were talking too much; a male was supposed to take, not ask. I disliked this area, but the door could be locked, and one of the benches would serve. "If you will secure the entry, we can begin now." I started unfastening the front of my tunic. "Should I take off everything? Is there something specific that you wish me to do?" What knowledge I had of coupling was very limited, and of ensleg ways I knew nothing, so I was sure I would need a certain amount of instruction.
"Stop it." He caught my hands. "I am not going to take you on the observation deck."
"Very well." I waited, and then asked, "Where should we do this?" For all I knew, the ensleg had some special department on the ship for it. They had them for everything else.
"I will wait until it is something that you desire," he said slowly. He would wait a long time, then. "I may still sleep with the child?" "No. Yes. I don't care." He turned his back on me. "Stop asking my permission for everything."
"That is how it is done among my people, Reever," I reminded him. When he did
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