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through her body.
    â€œHe had his leg between mine,” she told me, “and I felt him pressing against my vagina.”
    â€œVorgina,” I said. It was automatic.
    â€œI liked it. We got into a kind of rhythm. I had two orgasms.”
    â€œWhat about him?” I said dryly.
    â€œI don’t know. I wasn’t interested in what he had. Are girls interested in what you have?”
    â€œSometimes. Cora Brooks is always asking me how it feels. She drives me nuts that way. I keep telling her to shut up and she keeps asking me how it feels. I think she’s keeping some secret statistics.”
    â€œI can see where that would be annoying.”
    So it was very unusual for Ursula to be close-mouthed about her dates. When she came out of the bathroom, I asked her again.
    â€œWhat upset you tonight?”
    â€œI went to the brink,” she said, getting into bed, “and I lost control.”
    â€œWhat do you mean?”
    â€œRemember how I’m always telling you how much control I think I have because I’m so aware of my body and its reactions to things?”
    â€œSo?”
    â€œI don’t have it.”
    â€œAre you going to make sense or not? If you don’t want to talk, it’s perfectly all right with me,” I said, and started for the door.
    â€œDon’t get so uptight. It isn’t easy this time.”
    â€œOK,” I said, turning back. “OK.” I was quiet. I sat back on her bed and leaned against the wall, waiting.
    â€œWe had intercourse,” she finally said. I closed my eyes hard when she said it. I remember doing that, but I don’t know why. I didn’t say anything even though she paused for a few moments. “I remembered what you told me about Cora getting excited when you spent all that time kissing her shoulder. It sounded good somehow. I got him to do it to me. He was impatient, but I kept him at it.”
    She paused again. I thought about Mike Elias, a tall, lean redhead with milk-white skin. He had freckles scattered over his neck and forehead. He wouldn’t be bad-looking except for some missing teeth.
    You could see he was aware of it because he rarelygave anyone a wide smile and had the habit of mumbling a lot. He didn’t open his mouth enough to voice sounds clearly.
    â€œWe were in the back of his car,” she went on. “He had his hand between my legs too. I just felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t do something to stop the pounding of my heart. Do you know what I mean, Leon? Do you know what I mean?”
    â€œYes,” I said. I didn’t look at her when I said it, though. She went on.
    â€œI took my bra off myself. Just the way Cora did. You said that had a big effect on you. He kept kissing my breasts, my nipples, between my breasts, working his way down my body with his lips. That was wild, Leon. Did you ever do that? Huh?”
    â€œNo. Yes. I don’t remember.”
    â€œWhat got me was …”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œHe kept kissing me further and further down. My skirt and panties slipped off and I felt his lips there. I sat back with my right leg up on the back of the front seat. I heard him take his pants off. I couldn’t think. I had gone beyond thought. Did you ever get that way, Leon?”
    â€œStop asking me questions.”
    â€œI’m just trying to explain.”
    â€œSo. Just explain.”
    â€œLeon, I just opened up to him. There was no resistance, no control. He was wild and clumsy and sloppy. That’s when he scratched my neck. I bawled him out afterward,” she said, giggling, but it was a very nervous-sounding giggle. “You should have seen that.” She giggled again. I felt her reach out and touch my shoulder, but I didn’t look at her. “Leon?”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œAre you listening to me?”
    â€œYes.”
    â€œYou’re mad at me, aren’t you?”
    â€œWhy should I be mad at