read the pantomime before me. I closed my eyes and my mind as their shadows merged. Under their strong emotion I could have had free access to their minds, but I had been watching them all fall. I knew in a special way what passed between them, and I knew that Valancy often went to bed in tears and that Jemmy spent too many lonely hours on the crag that juts out over the canyon from high on Old Baldy, as though he were trying to make his heart as inaccessible to Outsiders as the crag is. I knew what he felt, but oddly enough I had never been able to sort Valancy since that first night. There was something very un-Outsiderish and also very un-Groupish about her mind and I couldn't figure what.
I heard the front door open and close and Valancy's light steps fading down the hall and then I felt Jemmy calling me outside. I put my coat on over my robe and shivered down the hall. He was waiting by the porch steps, his face still and unhappy in the faint moonlight.
"She won't have me," he said flatly.
"Oh, Jemmy! You asked her-"
"Yes. She said no."
"I'm so sorry." I huddled down on the top step to cover my cold ankles. "But, Jemmy-"
"Yes, I know" he retorted savagely. "She's an Outsider. I have no business even to want her. Well, if she'd have me I wouldn't hesitate a minute. This purity-of-the-Group deal is-"
"Is fine and right," I said softly, "as long as it doesn't touch you personally? But think for a minute, Jemmy. Would you be able to live a life as an Outsider? Just think of the million and one restraints that you would have to impose on yourself-and for the rest of your life, too, or lose her after all.
Maybe it's better to accept 'no' now than to try to build something and ruin it completely later. And if there should be children-" I paused. "Could there be children, Jemmy?"
I heard him draw a sharp breath.
"We don't know," I went on. "We haven't had the occasion to find out. Do you want Valancy to be part of the first experiment?"
Jemmy slapped his hat viciously down on his thigh, then he laughed.
"You have the Gift," he said, though I had never told him.
"Have you any idea, sister mine, how little you will be liked when you become an Old One?"
"Grandmother was well liked," I answered placidly. Then I cried, "Don't you set me apart, darn you, Jemmy. Isn't it enough to know that among a different people I am different? Don't you desert me now!"
I was almost in tears,
Jemmy dropped to the step beside me and thumped my shoulder in his old way. "Pull up your socks, Karen. We have to do what we have to do. I was just taking my mad out on you. What a world!" He sighed heavily.
I huddled deeper in my coat, cold of soul.
"But the other one is gone," I whispered. "The Home."
And we sat there sharing the poignant sorrow that is a constant undercurrent among the People, even those of us who never actually saw the Home. Father says it's because of a sort of racial memory.
"But she didn't say no because she doesn't love me," Jemmy went on at last. "She does love me. She told me so."
"Then why not?" As his sister I couldn't imagine anyone turning Jemmy down.
Jemmy laughed-a short unhappy laugh. "Because she is different."
"She's different?"
"That's what she said, as though it was pulled out of her. 'I can't marry,' she said. 'I'm different!' That's pretty good, isn't it, coming from an Outsider!"
"She doesn't know we're the People. She must feel that she is different from everyone. I wonder why?"
"I don't know. There's something about her, though. A kind of shield or wall that keeps us apart. I've never met anything like it in an Outsider or in one of the People either. Sometimes it's like meshing with one of us and then bang! I smash the daylights out of me against that stone wall."
"Yes, I know, I've felt it, too."
We listened to the silent past-midnight world and then Jemmy stood.
"Well, g'night, Karen. Be seeing you."
I stood up, too. "Good night, Jemmy." I watched him start off in the late moonlight. He
I heard the front door open and close and Valancy's light steps fading down the hall and then I felt Jemmy calling me outside. I put my coat on over my robe and shivered down the hall. He was waiting by the porch steps, his face still and unhappy in the faint moonlight.
"She won't have me," he said flatly.
"Oh, Jemmy! You asked her-"
"Yes. She said no."
"I'm so sorry." I huddled down on the top step to cover my cold ankles. "But, Jemmy-"
"Yes, I know" he retorted savagely. "She's an Outsider. I have no business even to want her. Well, if she'd have me I wouldn't hesitate a minute. This purity-of-the-Group deal is-"
"Is fine and right," I said softly, "as long as it doesn't touch you personally? But think for a minute, Jemmy. Would you be able to live a life as an Outsider? Just think of the million and one restraints that you would have to impose on yourself-and for the rest of your life, too, or lose her after all.
Maybe it's better to accept 'no' now than to try to build something and ruin it completely later. And if there should be children-" I paused. "Could there be children, Jemmy?"
I heard him draw a sharp breath.
"We don't know," I went on. "We haven't had the occasion to find out. Do you want Valancy to be part of the first experiment?"
Jemmy slapped his hat viciously down on his thigh, then he laughed.
"You have the Gift," he said, though I had never told him.
"Have you any idea, sister mine, how little you will be liked when you become an Old One?"
"Grandmother was well liked," I answered placidly. Then I cried, "Don't you set me apart, darn you, Jemmy. Isn't it enough to know that among a different people I am different? Don't you desert me now!"
I was almost in tears,
Jemmy dropped to the step beside me and thumped my shoulder in his old way. "Pull up your socks, Karen. We have to do what we have to do. I was just taking my mad out on you. What a world!" He sighed heavily.
I huddled deeper in my coat, cold of soul.
"But the other one is gone," I whispered. "The Home."
And we sat there sharing the poignant sorrow that is a constant undercurrent among the People, even those of us who never actually saw the Home. Father says it's because of a sort of racial memory.
"But she didn't say no because she doesn't love me," Jemmy went on at last. "She does love me. She told me so."
"Then why not?" As his sister I couldn't imagine anyone turning Jemmy down.
Jemmy laughed-a short unhappy laugh. "Because she is different."
"She's different?"
"That's what she said, as though it was pulled out of her. 'I can't marry,' she said. 'I'm different!' That's pretty good, isn't it, coming from an Outsider!"
"She doesn't know we're the People. She must feel that she is different from everyone. I wonder why?"
"I don't know. There's something about her, though. A kind of shield or wall that keeps us apart. I've never met anything like it in an Outsider or in one of the People either. Sometimes it's like meshing with one of us and then bang! I smash the daylights out of me against that stone wall."
"Yes, I know, I've felt it, too."
We listened to the silent past-midnight world and then Jemmy stood.
"Well, g'night, Karen. Be seeing you."
I stood up, too. "Good night, Jemmy." I watched him start off in the late moonlight. He
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