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cross in the centre of the grass—Celtic, medieval, pagan-looking, and as we got closer I saw just how fuck-off enormous it was. At least forty feet tall. Taller than our house back in Kilburn.
    The dory was quick. Even loaded down with a week’s supplies it was a little sea rocket—the water slipped quickly away under us, oily engine fumes lacing the air. Blake nosed it into a small gap between the rocks and a jetty. Overhead was a trot-line with a pulley that he pulled down and clipped on to the bowline. He worked quickly, killing the motor and moving the fenders around so the boat didn’t jostle against the rock. On the jetty I helped him unload the boat, stacking everything—the tinned stuff and the fresh milk, crates of vegetables and (oh, sweet relief) a healthy stash of Guinness tinnies and gin—into a large handcart. I pushed it for him because that was only fair, big hairy old me and tiny-guy him, and I followed him in silence up the narrow path that led away from the jetty, looking at the way the knotty veins in his calves pulsed black with the effort of climbing.
    At the top of the path I dropped the cart and stopped, staring at the huddled settlement. It was like a novelty golf course with its neatly trimmed green and paths running off in different directions—like you’d expect a cuckoo-clock woman to wheel out on tracks any second. Set just behind the front row of cottages, where the land rose, was the roof of a long breezeblock building that looked a bit like the sort of community halls that sprang up everywhere in the seventies. Against it the cottages looked even more run-down, with their weathered roofs, the same greenish-grey as the earth, only freckled in places where a slate had been recently replaced. And it was silent. Not a sign of life except for the two of us.
    “Here,” said Blake, pointing to the grass. “Wait here. I won’t be long. Please don’t leave the green. For your own safety, please stay here on the grass.” Before I could stop him he headed away up a path, glancing left and right as he went, his golf shirt flapping against his skinny back.
    At first I stood for a while in the centre of the lawn, staring at the place he’d disappeared. Then, when I realized he wasn’t coming back, I turned and looked around. With the exception of the waves breaking on the beach below, nothing moved. Everything stood still and hot and silent in the midday sun. The curtains in all the windows were tightly closed against the heat, and beyond their roofs rose the highlands, thick with trees. The west coast of Scotland is poxy with midges and I could imagine what it was like between those trees—thick with the fuckers, probably.
    I went and stood in the shadow of the cross, pulled the mobile out of the rucksack, looked at it and thought, Shit, Lex, I’m sorry. No signal. Typical. I walked to the edge of the green to see if I could catch anything there. Nothing. I walked all round the grass, staring at the screen, holding the phone at arm’s length, standing on tiptoe, standing on rocks, and then, when I still couldn’t get a signal, I put it in my pocket and sat down again. I stared back at the mainland for a while, at the Craignish Peninsula, green and foamy and indistinct in the bright sea, a flash of silver where the marina was. Why was Blake making me wait? Probably a test to see if I’d stay where he put me. And, of course, me being working-class, as Lexie would point out, the exam ethic never does come easy: I just couldn’t stay still. After about five minutes I had to get up. I had a lot to do in my time on Pig Island.
     
     
    Weird to think that the letter I got twenty years ago was written on this island. Dove had sold the ministry’s assets, given a whack to the IRS and come scurrying back to the UK, a handful of devoted disciples with him. He bought Pig Island and founded the Positive Living Centre.
    “The only thing to mar my happiness,” he said in the letter, “is the