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face would've been engulfed in a sea of ample, surgically enhanced cleavage. Apparently Dolly Parton was her fashion role model.
    " You poor dear," she said as she released the iron grip on Amy's shoulders. "I can't imagine how traumatic it must've been to discover a dead body."
    " Thank you. It was awful." Amy held up the basket. "I'm taking donations to buy a memorial bench at the park, to honor Mandy Jo. I figure it's the least we can all do for our fallen comrade."
    Alicia shook her head. "You are such a sweetheart. I certainly wouldn't want to memorialize the woman who has been slandering me for years. You're a nicer woman than I."
    " No, I'm not. I just think it's the right thing to do since she won the pie contest for five years in a row."
    " You have a good point with the champion thing." She leaned closer. "Still, I would've delegated the fundraising to someone else. Then again, I can't think of anybody who would do it. I haven't found a single person yet who liked Mandy Jo. Nobody, other than you, considered her a comrade. You might have a tough time raising the money."
    Alicia was on more fundraising committees than Amy. Her comments said a lot about the ill will Mandy Jo had spread around the small town. How would she find people who wanted to pay tribute to the social equivalent of a pissed off cobra that liked to sniff out dusty skeletons in closets then drag them into the open? Just because she thought she knew the reason behind Mandy Jo's unpleasant antics didn't mean anybody else would feel the need to memorialize her.
    A loud squawk stunned the audience into silence. Elliot had taken his place behind the podium and turned on the PA system. "Excuse me." Another ear drum shattering moan reverberated through the room. Kristi flicked off the switch on the microphone and whispered something in her husband's ear. He nodded in agreement then shouted, "Excuse me. Can you all still hear me?"
    A woman in the back of the room yelled back, "We aren't deaf. Stop shouting at us."
    Elliot looked like he had sucked on a lemon wedge. "I apologize," he said at a slightly lower volume. "I want to ensure that everybody can hear me since the public address system doesn't seem to be functioning correctly tonight."
    He coughed and continued, "As all of you know by now, Mandy Jo Pierce passed away Saturday evening. After much consideration, my wife and I have decided to cancel the pie contest for this year. We're asking that you all take your pies home with you tonight and wish you the best of luck next year. Have a good evening."
    That was it? Kristi had called over fifty people to insist they come to pick up their pies at the same time to attend an important meeting. Why couldn't she just have told people the contest was canceled and let everybody retrieve the pies at their convenience like after every other contest? Judging from the rising chorus of voices, Amy wasn't the only one thinking the same way.
    Kristi, still dressed in her chef 's jacket and apron from the bakery, nudged her husband aside so she could stand behind the podium. "I know you're all disappointed. You've worked so hard to bake your pies, but we can't ask the judges to eat food that has been in the same room as a dead body."
    That comment silenced the room again. People who were holding pies looked like they were afraid the baked goods would grow teeth and develop a craving for human brains. A rash of unnatural skin hues, ranging from chalky white to moldy green, spread through the crowd. Pie sprinkled with dead body cooties. Kristi and Elliot stared at each other. It was a marital showdown. Elliot's left eyebrow twitched. Producing mass nausea probably wasn't his goal for the meeting.
    Elliot raised his hand to try to silence the buzz of disgust that was gaining momentum in the crowded room. "Aside from that, the cream and custard pies could not be chilled as we were unable to enter the hall during the investigation to relocate them to a refrigerator. Those