mother and father. We are holding on to each other. All I hear is our breathing.
Chapter 5
I wake breathing fiercely, and my heart feels like it is pounding out of my chest. I am unable to move, though.
Damn it, sleep paralysis.
I lie there and try to recollect the dream step by step before it slips away. I am physically exhausted even though everything happened in my sleep.
I quickly shift my thoughts to the voice, my guide. The voice was so strong and protective. I felt safe for the first time in there, remembering the words that this comforting voice gave to steer me through my nightmare to save my family.
My family!
I look at the clock, 5:30 a.m. I am able to move my arm very slowly if I concentrate on it. The numbness is fading quicker this time.
I pick up the phone even though it may be too early to call. I need to talk with them. The nightmare is still so fresh, so intense in my mind. I need my parents to separate the ethereal and reality that are intermingling in my mind.
Dad picks up on the first ring. “Jes. Is everything okay?”
I answer quickly, “Everything is fine. I just wanted to hear you. Are you guys okay?”
I hear Mom in the background. “Is she okay?”
I answer before Dad has the chance to relay her message. “Yes. It was the nightmare. This time it was different. I made it through. I can’t really explain it all. But I saved you and Mom. I know this sounds crazy, but I think it was a test.”
I hear Dad walking as he listens.
“Dad? What are you doing?”
Dad is speaking to someone else, not Mom. I hear muffled voices as if he is covering the receiver.
That makes me anxious.
“Dad? What is going on over there?”
Dad quickly uncovers the receiver. “Jes? Sorry, um, Mom was answering the door.”
I wait for Dad to elaborate, but he doesn’t. I’m irritated by his unwillingness to give me an explanation.
“At 5:30 in the morning? Who is it?”
Dad dodges my question. “Hey, do you think you could come over for breakfast before you head into work. We, uh, need to talk about something.”
Dad quickly adds, “Everything is fine. We just need to talk about some decisions we are making.”
Wearily, I agree. “Sure. I’ll be over in a couple of hours. I go in to work at noon today.”
There is a silence between us. In the background I hear rustling and other voices. I can’t help but pry. “Are you sure everything is all right over there? Do you want me to come over now?”
“No. Just take your time, honey. We are just getting up and about. We have a friend that just popped in. So we have catching up to do before you get here. Take your time.” He sounds more himself now, which brings relief to my flighty emotions. We say our goodbyes and hang up.
A friend at 5:30 in the morning?
I crawl back into bed. I can’t help but wonder who the friend is and why he or she is over at the house so early in the morning.
I close my eyes, still tired from the active dream state I was in for most of the night. I felt so strong and in control of myself and everything around me. I think about the terrible nightmares and hallucinations. The people that I have encountered over the past week. How the dreams have become more intense, severe, spontaneous, and chaotic almost. Somehow, I was able to find stability and control in the chaos.
The guide’s voice helped me.
The comforting feeling comes over me again. I feel empowered and confident for the first time in a long time. Maybe I will be able to sleep now that I have this energy within me to protect myself. I’m curious if this ability, this energy within, will bleed into my waking hours just as the visions and hallucinations have found their way into my reality.
The ability to hear even the smallest whisper found its way in. The speed I possessed in the woods found its way into my reality as well. The humming sound and vibration around my body, like a shield warning me of impending danger, has found its way in. What if I have