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awful.’
    ‘Are you mad?’ Sarah said. ‘I’d much rather be too skinny than fat. I think Tracy looks amazing.’
    ‘There’s nothing attractive about matchstick legs and sunken cheeks. Victoria Beckham is much prettier when she has some flesh on her bones.’
    ‘She always looks great, even when she’s really skinny, and her clothes are so cool,’ Sarah disagreed with me.
    ‘Victoria’s a bit scrawny, but Tracy’s taller so she looks more like a model, kind of like Keira Knightley, naturally slim,’ Ali said.
    ‘What does David think of her?’ Sarah asked.
    ‘He said he thought she was pretty, but he didn’t see what the fuss was about.’
    ‘He’s got very good taste.’ I smiled at Ali. ‘Now, how do you fancy going to Carluccio’s for dinner to celebrate or commiserate your first day back at school?’
    ‘Brilliant, I’m starving,’ Ali said.
    ‘Sounds good to me,’ Sarah agreed.
    ‘OK so. We’ll just swing by and pick up Charlie.’
    ‘Will Dad be coming?’ Ali asked.
    ‘Not tonight. He’s tied up.’
    I texted Charlie to let him know to be ready, and he was waiting outside when we reached the house. He climbed into the car with his red nose and black eyes.
    ‘Charlie! What happened to you?’ Ali gasped.
    ‘I fell over getting out of the bath,’ he said, looking at me.
    ‘Really?’ said Sarah. ‘It looks like someone boxed you in the face.’
    ‘Yes, well, they didn’t. He just fell,’ I said firmly. The last thing I wanted was for the girls to find out that their grandfather was a molester.

6
    The day of the Mallow twins’ party quickly turned into a nightmare. I had a hysterical phone call from Nancy at nine in the morning to say that because of the weather the night before the marquee was now flying in circles around the garden.
    I called Barry, the supplier, and arranged to meet him there at ten o’clock. He held up the filthy, ripped tent and cursed. ‘I don’t believe this. It’s wrecked. The bloody thing is in tatters. I pegged that down last night and there’s no way it should have come up, regardless of the weather. Look – there’s big holes here where I planted the pegs. It looks like someone dug them up.’
    ‘Jesus Christ, I’ll kill them,’ Nancy huffed.
    The twins were frog-marched down to explain what they had done. ‘It was only a joke,’ Ryan said.
    ‘It was just for fun, to see if it would fall down,’ Harry added.
    ‘Well, it’s not very funny, lads. My tent is ruined and it’s going to cost a lot to replace it,’ Barry said. ‘And before you ask, no, I don’t have another for you. They’re all booked up today.’
    ‘What are we going to do? I have twenty-five boys and their parents arriving in four hours,’ wailed Nancy.
    ‘It looks like the party is going to have to be in the house,’ I said.
    ‘Over my dead body,’ Nancy said, through gritted teeth. ‘Right, there’s nothing else for it. They’ll have to be in the garage.’
    ‘I don’t want to have a party in the garage,’ Ryan whined. ‘It’s smelly and dark.’
    ‘Yeah, Mum, the garage is crap,’ moaned his twin, Harry.
    ‘It’ll be fine, boys. Ava will make it nice, won’t you?’
    ‘I’ll do my very best for you.’ Not having seen the garage, I wasn’t going to promise a miracle.
    ‘You’re so mean, Mum. Dad would never make us have our party in the garage.’ Ryan threw himself on the ground and began to wail. This kid was really beginning to get on my nerves.
    ‘Well, your father’s not here, as usual, so you can stop that whingeing.’
    ‘When is he coming?’ Harry asked.
    ‘Whenever he bloody feels like it,’ she muttered, under her breath.
    ‘Will he be here for the party?’ Ryan asked.
    ‘Who knows? Daddy does what Daddy wants and to hell with everyone else.’
    Clearly all was not well with the Mallows. I felt sorry for Nancy, who was completely strung out, but I felt even sorrier for the boys. They might be annoying, but they were