Read Phineas L. MacGuire . . . Gets Slimed! for Free Online Page B

the Candidates session on Monday. This was part of the deal Aretha made with us. If she had to be Ben’s vice presidential running mate, I had to be Ben’s speechwriter. Ben may be agenius artist, but he can’t write his way out of a box filled with dictionaries and all the famous speeches of the universe.
Begin developing sample molds to show Mrs. Patino for our big Mold Museum meeting on Tuesday.
Write the book report I never got around to writing for Mrs. Tuttle.
Make penicillin. And maybe when I am finished, I can reinvent the cure for polio.
    But before I got started on my list of things to do, I had to go with Sarah Forte-meyer, Teenage Girl Space Alien babysitter, to Goodwill to get my worms back.
    Sarah was waiting for me in the driveway when I got home from school onFriday. She was leaning against my mom’s minivan, jingling the keys. My mom and Lyle had taken Lyle’s car on their trip, leaving the van for Sarah in case there was an emergency situation.

    â€œHop in the van, Stan,” she said. “The Goodwill people called five minutes ago. Somebody found your worms when they were sorting through clothing donations. Lucky for us, the manager your mom talked to was working, so he called right away.”
    This was the best news I’d heard all week. It almost made up for having to spend twenty-four hours straight with Sarah Fortemeyer.
    Almost, but not quite.
    â€œLet’s go!” I yelled. I threw my backpack on the front steps and jumped in the van. Margaret was already in her carseat and looking at her favorite book,
Mr. Monkey Makes a Milk Shake.
    Before I became a scientist,
Mr. Monkey
was my favorite book too.
    This is not something I advertise.
    For a Teenage Girl Space Alien, Sarah Fortemeyer is an okay driver. The only problem about being in the van with her is that she has this sort of purple smell, which is either her perfume or her natural Teenage Girl Space Alien scent. Either way it makes me itchy. Fortunately, we made it to Goodwill before my body broke out in red, scratchy hives. My weekend was already going to be rotten. There was no need to add hives to the mix.
    When I got my worms back at Goodwill, ten of them were missing. “They must have fallen out of the box when the lid was taken off,” the manager said. Heshrugged, like ten missing dried worms was no big deal.
    To me, it was a big deal.
    Do you know how hard it is to find dried worms? Oh, maybe if you live in Australia, it’s not a problem. But where I live, finding a dried worm is a major event. Especially if it’s not smushed beyond recognition.
    â€œI’ve got to find those worms!” I said. “They’re scientifically important to me and to worm collectors everywhere!”
    â€œI’m sorry,” the manager said. “Only Goodwill employees are allowed in the sorting areas.”
    â€œYou don’t understand!” I yelled, but the manager just shook his head. You could tell he wasn’t going to budge.
    â€œDon’t worry about it, Mac,” Sarah said. “I personally guarantee that I’ll findyou ten worms this weekend to make up for the ones you lost.”
    â€œDried worms?” I asked.
    Sarah nodded. “Dried worms.”
    â€œOkay,” I said. At least that would keep Sarah out of my hair. She’d have to spend the whole weekend searching high and low.
    It has been a bad fall for dried worms.
    When we got home, Sarah immediately turned on the TV to some talk show. I thought about watching, just because I never get to watch anything at my house besides
Polly Puppy and Her Puppy Friends.
But after one minute I learned a valuable lesson.
    There are some shows even stupider than
Polly Puppy.
    I know. It’s hard to believe.

    Besides, I needed to make some penicillin, and fast. Aretha said if I didn’t have something growing by Monday, she wouldn’t put her name on Ben’s presidential ticket.
    â€œI need to use