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Nice try. And they tried to teach me? When I missed at long division they were nice. When I ate with my fingers they were nice. When my shoes split in gym they were nice. This one kid gave me his shoes.”
    “He gave you his shoes?” says Marty.
    “He was really nice,” explains the kid.
    “What were your shoes doing splitting?” says Marty. “Where did they split? Why did they split? Those were perfectly good shoes.”
    “In gym,” says the kid. “They split in gym and my foot fell out. Then that kid who switched shoes with me wore them with his foot sticking out. He said he didn’t mind.And even with his foot sticking out he beat me at running. He was really nice.”
    “I heard you the first time,” says Marty. “He was really nice. Maybe he went to being-nice camp. Maybe he went to giving-away-shoes camp.”
    “Well, I don’t know if they have that kind of camp,” says the kid.
    “Look, you don’t need to go to a camp to know how to be nice,” says Marty. “And you don’t have to be rich to be nice. You just have to be nice. Do you think you have to be rich to be nice?”
    “I guess so,” says the kid.
    “No, no, no,” says Marty. “You don’t. That’s my point. You don’t have to be rich to be nice.”
    “But it helps?” says the kid.
    “No,” says Marty. “It makes no difference. It has nothing to do with it.”
    “I think it helps,” says the kid. “Because then you don’t have to worry about your shoes splitting.”
    “Ah bullshit,” says Marty. “You’re not rich but you’re nice. See? You were nice, weren’t you? When someone else’s shoes split, you were nice, right?”
    “No one else’s shoes ever split,” says the kid.
    “Are you trying to tell me you were the only kid in that whole school whose shoes ever split?” says Marty.
    “Yes,” says the kid.
    “I find that hard to believe,” says Marty.
    “Once this kid Simon?” says the kid. “His pants ripped.”
    “Well, there you go,” says Marty. “That’s worse. Becauseyour underwear shows. Your pants never ripped. Because I bought you good pants. Not that I’m saying the shoes I bought you weren’t good. They were very good. Among the best. So what did this Simon kid do? When his pants ripped? Was he upset? Did the other kids make fun of him? Did he start crying? Did you rush to his defense? Did you sort of like console him? Do you know what console means? It means like say something nice. Did you say something nice when his pants ripped?”
    “Not exactly,” the kid says.
    “What did you say?” says Marty.
    “Well, that boy, Simon, was a kind of smelly boy?” says the kid. “He had this kind of smell to him?”
    “Did the other kids make fun of his smell?” says Marty.
    “Sometimes,” says the kid.
    “But they didn’t make fun of your smell,” says Marty.
    “No,” says the kid. “They made fun of my shoes splitting.”
    “Too bad about that smelly kid though,” says Marty. “You gotta feel bad about a kid like that. What were his parents thinking? Didn’t they teach him how to wash? But you at least didn’t make fun of his smell. Even though the other kids did.”
    “Well, I sort of did,” the kid says.
    “When?” says Marty. “On the day his pants ripped?”
    “No,” the kid says. “On the day my shoe split.”
    “Probably he was making fun of you on that day,” suggests Marty.
    “No,” the kid says. “He was just kind of standing there. But a few kids were looking at my shoe funny. Because myfoot was poking out? So I asked Simon why he smelled so bad.”
    “And the other kids laughed?” says Marty. “They thought that was pretty good? What did he say? Did he stop making fun of your shoes?”
    “Well, he hadn’t really started yet,” the kid says. “But he was about to.”
    “I bet he was,” says Marty. “But you stopped him dead in his tracks. What did he say? After you made that crack about his smell?”
    “He said maybe he did smell but at least his