confidence was taking a beating in the face of so many changes and challenges. It was a salty-sweet mélange of excitement and dread. Bliss and dismay. Giddiness and loneliness. I had already gotten myself right back up from the ground after flying over the handlebars of a Vélibâ one time, but on a Saturday afternoon, after having fallen down the stairs of a boutique, horribly embarrassing myself, butchering my knee and, worst of all, ruining my brand new Robert Clergerie talons hauts , I limped home, confidence shattered along with tough-girl façade. I called AJ.
âHello?â a very sleepy voice answered. I looked at my clock and only then did the math. Merde . It was 9:00 a.m. in New York.
âHi. Did I wake you?â
âNo, no,â AJ valiantly said from across the ocean. âDonât worry about it. How are you?â I could hear her getting up. She never would have ignored a call from me. Even though I relied on her altruism, it still astounded me.
âMmmmâ¦Iâm okayâ¦â I found myself hedging, for some reason not wanting to say anything negative about Paris or my feeling vulnerable, even though itâs why I had called.
âAim, hold on, just a sec, sorry.â I heard AJ covering the mouthpiece, followed by muffled conversation. Hmmmmâ¦she wasnât alone? I knew she had started dating someone right around the time I moved, but Iâd be surprised if he was already spending the night. Come to think of it, she had been very mum about men lately, which, according to my knowledge of her dating behavior, developed from two-plus decades of experience, meant it was nothing serious. She would have been sharing blow-by-blow info if there was someone worth talking about. Turns out, I was wrong.
âWho was that ?â I asked when she returned to the phone.
âHold on,â and I heard the door click behind her. A moment later, she was revealing that it was Mitchell, the very same guy she started seeing when I moved to Parisâand they were indeed getting serious. In fact, they were all but inseparable.
I was, well, shell-shockedâwhich at least distracted me from my now-throbbing knee. I hadnât even remembered this guyâs name, for crying out loud, and he was suddenly important in my best friendâs life? âSo what makes him different? What have you guys been doing together? Whatâs the deal?â I asked quick-fire, as if I were interviewing her for an article.
âWell, heâs just pretty amazing, you know? Heâs smart and edgy. Heâs cool. And heâs from the Midwest, so we have a lot of shared values, which is becoming more important to me.â As AJ went on, I felt like I had entered a time warp. Wait a minute , I thought. In the time Iâve been trying to decipher my cable box in French, sheâs met someone edgy and cool who she feels compatible with?
Sure, I was also having a love affairâwith a city. But AJ was smitten with a man. I could hear it in her voice. And while I was happy for my best friend, I also started feeling sorry for myself. After weeks of exerting so much effort and trying so hard to acclimate, I was tired. Frustrated. Lonely and uncertain. I had Michael and was becoming friendly with another writer at Ogilvy, but these werenât friends I could call in this vulnerable state and hash through my feelings over cocktails. A fierce wave of alienation nearly knocked me over when AJ and I hung up. What was I doing here? I looked around my tree house, which suddenly felt foreign. I needed a taste of home, I decided, no matter how small.
Right before my arrival in Paris, two sistersâRebecca and Maggie Bellityâopened Cupcakes & Co. in the eleventh arrondissement. They had traveled throughout the States and been inspired by the cupcake trend that had spread across the country. When they returned to Paris in the fall of 2008, they set up what was then Parisâs
Larry Kramer, Reynolds Price