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and made ler sick before she was too far gone. I thought she might niscarry then, but she didn't, I wanted to spare her anything ilse. I thought … I thought if I could find the baby and bring it back I could say she'd lost it in the house, and that way there'd be no police, no fuss about it,' Her fingers teased at her skirt, pinching a fold of it, then moothing it down and repeating the process.
    'She wouldn't talk at al , at first, but eventual y she told tie she'd left it in a bin near Piccadil y Tube station. I put ler to bed, but it was late by then. I thought I'd have a couple' of hours'
    sleep and go to Piccadil y first thing. She was stil
    sleeping when I went. I wanted to be back before she woke up, but when I got to the station I couldn't find the right bin. I started looking in al of them, until the streets started getting busier and I had to stop. I never did find out where it was. There was no mention of it being found, so I suppose it just got taken away when the bins were emptied. I couldn't do anything except go back home, and when I got there Sarah had gone. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't cal the police, so I just waited and hoped she'd come back. But when she did she'd got a baby with her.' A corner of her mouth lifted in a smile. 'She looked so happy. Like the day before hadn't happened. Like Sarah should look. I tried to get her to tel me where she'd got it from, but she didn't seem to know what I was talking about. And when I asked whose baby it was, she just said, "Mine." I tried to make her realise what she'd done, but it only made her confused. I was frightened she'd sink back into the state she'd been in earlier. I couldn't think what to do. And then, al of a sudden, it came to me. I didn't have to do anything. Sarah had been pregnant, and now she'd got a baby. It was big for a premature one, but not so big that it'd cause problems.' He couldn't keep quiet any longer. 'Problems? It wasn't hers! Jesus Christ, she stoh it!' Jessica gave him a look of contempt. 'What did you expect me to do? Go to the police?'
    'Yes! Yes, you should have gone to the fucking police! They wouldn't have prosecuted, not for something like that' She'd have been given psychiatric help!'
    'Put away somewhere, you mean? You think I'd have let them do that to her?'
    'It would have been better than what you did!' He felt he had fal en through to another, less rational pocket of reality.
    'Did she know? What she'd done, I mean? Did she know afterwards?' Jessica raised her shoulders, listlessly. 1 don't know. She might have, at some level. I'd cut out the reports from the newspaper and saved them in a drawer, but when I looked after she'd gone back with her parents they'd gone. She never said she'd taken them, and I never asked her.'
    'You never spoke to her about it?' She shook her head, but for the first time there was something subtly defensive about her. Ben thought he understood why Jessica had kept the cuttings. And why Sarah had been uneasy discussing their relationship.
    The woman had wanted to tie Sarah to her.
    He didn't bother to keep the disgust from his voice.
    'Didn't you worry that someone might have found out?'
    'Who was going to find out? I was nearly a qualified midwife, no one would doubt what I said. The doctor hardly even examined her when we cal ed him out the next day. If I'd been based at the hospital the baby had been taken from somebody might have wondered, but I wasn't. There wasn't any risk.'
    'No risk? She'd taken somebody else's baby! Al right, she was il , she didn't know what she was doing. But you're supposed to be a … a fucking midwife, for God's sake! How could you do it?'
    'Because it was for Sarah.' Jessica stared back at him, defiant and serene. 'I'd have done anything if I thought it would help her.'
    'Help her! That wasn't helping her! You were just letting her hide from what happened! And what about its real parents? Didn't you care about what they must have gone through?'
    "Why