so much the gesture but the meaning behind the gesture. What did
he want from me? Did he think I was going to be thankful and bow down to him or
something? Or maybe he had done it before our conversation that morning and now
he wanted that money back? How the hell would I ever pay that kind of money
back?
I took a deep
breath and tried to gather up my courage. There was really no need to be
nervous. It was just Trigger. I wasn’t nervous about him fingering me but I was
nervous about having a simple conversation with him? Didn’t make much sense
even in my warped mind.
I was still trying
to gather my courage up when I saw Trigger’s stepsister Kat come walking out of
his front door. Her long hair was flowing around her face fiercely and she
walked fast with her head held high like she was on a mission. That was what I
needed to be like, fearless and on a mission.
I waited until she
got into her car (some blue sports car, jeez where did this family get so many
fancy cars from?) and took off before I started to walk toward Trigger’s front
door. I tried my best to have the same fierce and bad bitch walk that Kat just
had on my way but I wasn’t sure I was pulling it off too well. When I reached
the door I started pounding on it as hard as I could before I lost my nerve.
Trigger opened the
door right away. He looked completely unsurprised to see me; like he knew it
was only a matter of time before I came crawling to his doorstep begging for
his attention. He was so full of himself.
Trigger shook his
head back and forth. “Word of advice, don’t ever come pounding on anyone’s door
like that. You know who comes at you pounding on your door like that? Your
enemies, you’re lucky I didn’t open the door with a gun pointed right at your
pretty face.”
I rolled my eyes
and pushed past him inside of the door. “Don’t try and flatter me.”
He grinned. “Sure,
Jennifer. Come on in.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,
Trigger. Is that annoying? Just coming into your personal space without asking
for your permission? Just inserting myself in your life when I wasn’t wanted?”
Trigger slammed
the door shut and swung back around to face me, completely unaffected by my
attitude. “I’m going to take a wild guess that you’re heated about the whole
paying your rent thing?”
“We don’t need
your charity, Trigger. We’re perfectly capable of paying our own bills.” I
could hear my tone rising with each word, just like my anger.
“You called it
charity, Jennifer, no one else did. I saw a situation that I could help with so
I did what I thought was the right thing. Sorry that you don’t appreciate it.”
“How did you even
know that we were behind on our rent?” I demanded.
Trigger half
laughed and started to walk across the floor toward the living room. “Don’t ask
stupid questions. I know every time someone does or doesn’t pay anything.”
It amazed me how
much he knew about our city. It was like he was a cop or something. It was
actually kind of scary, no one really knew how much of their lives were being
watched by Trigger and his brothers. Privacy was a privilege in our city. That
much was becoming clear.
“I’ll pay you
back,” I told him, unable to fully understand what I was feeling toward him
anymore. One minute I hated him the next I wanted to jump on him, the whole
thing was way too confusing and fucked up for me to deal with.
He shrugged it
off. “Don’t worry about it.”
I took the
opportunity to look around his house. It was just as nice on the inside as I
thought it would be; leather sofas and chairs, huge T.V., long wood table. It
was surprisingly clean for a guy’s house. I would love to own a place like this
someday, that was the goal once school was over and I had a real job.
“It’s so nice in
here,” I admitted.
Trigger nodded,
taking in the view with me. “I know. It blows my mind, sometimes, that I actually
live here.”
“Really?” I asked,
surprised. “I would have