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freaks me out and I really want to get over that fear. There is this guy…”
    “A guy, huh?” She smiles brightly. “Any guy would be lucky to have you, Alexis. We know this condition stems from your childhood and your abuser. If you concentrate more on the person you’re with and not think about the past, it would be a start. Just focus on what is in front of you in that moment,” she says with a soothing voice.
    “His name is Cole, and we’ve been friends for a while, and our feelings are growing for each other and he is being really patient with me. We did hug twice and it felt nice, but there is always that fear in the back of my mind. I want to move forward and be all in love and experience all that. I’m just scared ,” I tell her in a rushed tone.
    “Being in love is scary enough you wonder if they’ll break your heart, be too vulnerable and all that comes with it. Plus, with some added baggage, it is scary. Just take things slow, and just take some deep breaths and focus on who is in front of you,” she tells me.
    “I really appreciate you taking the time to talk with me. I fee l a lot better about things now.”
    I stand to leave.
    “My door is always open, Alexis. Come in any time.”
    “Thank you,” I offer a smile as I exit her office.
    Leaving her office, I have a smile plastered on my face, and I know I am not crazy after all. It just takes time to let my fears go. My next stop is the police station to file a restraining order on my abuser, so he can’t come near me ever again.
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    I make my way back to Cole’s after having a productive day. I walk inside and plop on the couch.
    “Rough day?” Cole asks, plopping next to me on the couch.
    “I just went to talk to my counselor and I went to the police station to file a restraining order.” I give a weak smile.
    “You should have told me; I could have went with you,” he says, stretching his arms out.
    “I’m a big girl ; it was fine.” Why do people constantly think I need my hand held, like I’m not capable of doing anything myself?
    “I know you are, but I could have been there to support you,” he says, as his eyes crinkle.
    You were still asleep when I left and I didn’t want to wake you. Besides, I went to see my counselor first thing. I go to a support for my eating disorder and Leah, my counselor , is really helpful with everything.”
    “That is good. It’s like you have your own safe place makes sense,” he says. “Would it be totally weird if I told you I wanted to kiss you right now?”
    I bite my lower lip and smile shyly. “No, it’s not weird.” I look at his luscious lips and imagine if they will feel like they did the other day. And he slides closer to me, and watches my reaction. I wait with anticipation. Normally at this point the couple would be having sex; isn’t there like a three date rule or something? But I’m just slower at doing this.
    His lips are within an inch of mine, and I slam mine onto his. He slips his tongue into my mouth and I’m not grossed out at all. He pulls me closer, our bodies pressing against each other. His chest feels hard against mine and he doesn’t move any farther than just holding me and kissing me, and it feels amazing.
    I pull away so I can catch my breath because the air evaporated from my lungs. I take a deep breath and just look into his eyes.
    “God, that was amazing,” he says, as his chests ri ses. “I only have one complaint.” He smirks.
    “Oh my god, do I have bad breath?” I cover my mouth.
    “No; now I won’t be able to stop kissing you.”
    H e pulls me close again and his lips find mine as I let out a giggle. Our tongues entwine and tangle and I feel ballsy enough to straddle his lap because I don’t feel close enough, so I swing my leg over him and position myself on top of him. My heart is beating so fast that it feels like it might burst out of my chest and explode. He wraps his arms around my waist and rubs his hands up and down my