Read Out of the Pocket for Free Online Page A

mean, like a bad injury maybe. But no way.”
    “Yeah, me neither,” I said. “You ever think about what you’ll do after?” It was another sentence I couldn’t finish. How do you say to your brother, your best buddy, whose only dream is pro football, if you aren’t good enough to play in the NFL ?
    “I like to talk to girls. You think I could get a job doing that?”
    “You could be a pimp,” I said, and he laughed.
    “Yes,” he said. “I have a new career. Thanks, dude.”
    We just sat there, looking at each other for a while.
    “You didn’t answer the question,” he said. “What’s up with you and Carrie?”
    My brain was on like three tracks at once, and the thoughts tripped over one another and I realized as I struggled to think of what to say that I was exhausted.
    I was tired of thinking about it alone.
    I exhaled. “I don’t know,” I said, squirming in my seat.
    He reclined, his hands clasped behind his head. “What don’t you know?”
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    “If I should tell you,” I said. “I think you know.”
    And when I said that, I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin because there was almost no going back.
    Austin sat up. “Know what?”
    I remained still, trying not to even breathe. Maybe if I stayed quiet, we could move on to something else. But at the same time I really wanted to tell him.
    “What?” he repeated, and I could hear an edge of panic in his voice.
    I sat up and faced him. “Do you know what I’m going to tell you?”
    His forehead was creased in a way that I hadn’t seen before.
    I could almost imagine what Austin was going to look like as a middle-aged guy. “No,” he said.
    “I’m going to tell you something, but you have to promise not to tell anyone else.”
    “Did you get Carrie pregnant?” he said.
    I laughed, way too hard. “No!”
    “What?” he said.
    “I’m not dating Carrie,” I said. “I’m not dating anyone. I’m gay, Austin.”
    We sat there, staring at each other for a few seconds. His left eye twitched. Then he laughed.
    “Dude,” he said. “Yo. You’re kidding.”
    “No,” I answered, unable to look away from his face.
    Austin laughed and pounded the arm of the couch with his fist, gently. “No, dude, yo. You shouldn’t say shit like that. People will start to think it’s true.”
    “It is true.” My head was buzzing like a hundred bees.
    Austin stared at me, with his mouth half open, sort of like an idiot. I wanted to say something that would let him close it.
    “For real?” he asked quietly.
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    I nodded. “Yeah.”
    “Wow,” he said, and then he smiled again. “That’s, wow.”
    I laughed. “You already said that.”
    Austin laughed, too, and I felt a chest fluttering that made me feel almost elated.
    “I’m totally cool with that,” he said.
    I closed my eyes tight and just breathed for a while. When I opened them, he was still sitting there, looking at me and smiling.
    “You are?” I asked.
    “Dude,” he said. “I don’t give a crap who you, you know. That’s your business. I don’t tell you what I do in bed, do I?”
    I raised an eyebrow. “Um, yeah, like all the time,” I said.
    He laughed, way too loud. “That’s true,” he said. “But I mean, it doesn’t matter if you’re banging a girl or, you know, a, you know, a guy or whatever. I don’t give a—”
    “I’ve never done it,” I said quickly.
    He nodded his head like he already knew this. “Oh,” he said.
    “Right.”
    “You’re freaked,” I said.
    He stood and shook out his legs. “Dude,” he said. “I’m fine. It’s not a big deal. Chill. I know there’s gay people and straight people.
    It’s like, what’s the difference anymore, right?”
    “You’re freaking me out,” I said, watching him stretch manically for his toes.
    He stood tall and walked over to where I was sitting. He put his hand on my shoulder. “Relax,” he said. “We’re cool.”
    I closed my eyes and exhaled. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted