meant—“
She
couldn’t let him finish. She walked out of his apartment before he’d finished
his sentence.
When
she crossed the hall to her apartment, she locked the door behind her. It was a
good thing, too, since Aaron started pounding on it a few seconds later.
“Kate,
let me in.”
His
outraged tone made her want to cry again, but this time she didn’t indulge it.
Ruthlessly, she stifled the emotion.
Needing
to do something constructive—when there was absolutely nothing constructive to
do—she pulled on a pair of clean underwear, an oversized t-shirt, and a pair of
yoga pants and then took her wrinkled dress, bra, and panties to the closet
with her stackable washer and dryer.
She
turned the washer to the delicate cycle and started the water. She checked the
tag in the dress to make sure it was washable—although she already knew it was—and
then just stared blindly as water filled up the basin.
She
wasn’t surprised when she heard a key in her front door. They’d always walked
into each other’s apartments without invitation. There was no reason to assume
that would change now.
She
was adding expensive detergent to the water when Aaron found her, but she
didn’t turn to look at him. She just put her clothes into the water, wishing
she could wash away the entire night.
She
sensed a strange, tense vibe to the way he watched her, but she couldn’t turn
to check his expression.
Finally,
Aaron said, his tone stiff and unfamiliar, “Washing me off your clothes and
your body isn’t going to wash me out of your life.”
She
ducked her head briefly as a sob threatened. He didn’t understand at all.
This
was so much worse than breaking up with Hugh—which had wounded her self-esteem
but not her heart.
She’d
never lived a happy, stable life without Aaron. He’d been part of it from the
beginning, just days after she and her mother had moved to town and started
building a good world for themselves. In some ways, her friendship with Aaron
had been the bedrock of her life. Once it was cracked, everything else might
fall apart.
“So
now you’re not even going to talk to me?” He sounded tired, almost bitter. She
still didn’t dare to look at his face.
“What
is there to talk about?” Pleased that her voice hadn’t broken, she stopped
staring at the sudsy water in the machine and closed the lid.
“I
think there’s a lot to say. Would you please look at me?”
She
let out a shaky breath and turned to meet his eyes. He was right. She couldn’t
act like a child. She had to face this—no matter how much it threatened to
crush her.
“I’m
sorry,” she admitted. “I just don’t know how to deal with this. I know it’s not
your fault, but we never should have done that.”
“It’s partly my fault.” His eyes were strangely cool. Watchful. “You didn’t
just jump me out of the blue. But I didn’t intend for it to happen. I
just…wasn’t thinking.”
“I
wasn’t either. But it’s changed everything, Aaron. I don’t know how we can be
friends like we were.”
Something
strange twisted on Aaron’s face. She didn’t understand it at all. “Maybe it’s
for the best.”
She
actually gasped at the pain of that remark—that he could see something good in
the crumbling of their friendship, which she’d always assumed he needed as much
as she did. “For the best?”
She
turned away so he wouldn’t see her expression.
It
was a futile effort. He just put a hand on her shoulder to turn her back around
to face him.
“Kate,”
he said, his eyes transforming into that intense heat she remembered from their
lovemaking earlier. “Kate.”
She
stared up at him, mesmerized. Her mind clearly wasn’t working, since she had no
idea what to expect. She wasn’t prepared when he took her face in one of his
big hands and then leaned down into a kiss.
She
responded immediately—that same hunger, pleasure, and excitement swelling up at
the touch of his lips. For a moment, she gave