Read Once We Were Human (The Commander Book 1) for Free Online Page B

understand. 
    I was no athlete or Jack La Lanne, but remembering my escape from the prisoner bus I did better than I expected.  I wondered what I was becoming.  Magazines talked a lot about the extra abilities Major Transforms acquired and I’d never heard a scientific explanation for any of them that made sense.  It was magic, maybe, or a gift from God or more likely the Devil.  I wondered if I would develop those supernatural abilities myself.
    Next came more tests I didn’t understand.  There were nurses, orderlies, Dr. Zielinski, Dr. Peterson, doctors I didn’t recognize.  There was even a psychologist, a Dr. Richard Bentwyler.  He had the best psychologist name I ever encountered.  I bet no one contracted his first name to Dick!  He gave me IQ tests, Rorschach tests, and I spent two hours talking while lying on a couch.  I doubted my childhood relationship with my father had anything to do with Transform Sickness, but they were the doctors.  I hoped they knew what they were doing.
    The tests started after breakfast and continued ‘til seven at night.  Half the time they didn’t even stop while I ate. 
    At least the tests kept me distracted.
     
    Between tests in the afternoon, Agent Bates came by to check up on me as I waited for the next doctor to come through.  I sat on an examination table in a cold room with worn linoleum tile and shiny metal instruments.  The examination table had metal rings bolted to it, which held heavy canvas straps.  I wondered how often they had to strap someone to that table to do their examination.
    We talked while I snacked, about his wife, his children and about life in a Focus household.  It didn’t sound pretty.  He loved his wife but they were nearly estranged.  She had gotten stuck in a California Focus household after she transformed.  To my amazement, his small government salary was one of the few reliable sources of income her household had. 
    Agent Bates also filled me in on some of the darker aspects of life as a Transform, part of his recruiting effort.  I knew from my husband’s business that it was difficult for a Transform to find a job.  I didn’t know people were often fired just because they lived in a Focus household.  A known Transform often couldn’t get service in stores and restaurants.  Because of this, many Focuses moved their households to large cities for anonymity.  However, banks rarely lent money to Focuses and Transforms, which meant they had to pay cash for housing.  He also told me how the justice system rarely prosecuted crimes against Transforms. 
    “There’s one thing I’d like to know,” I said, after he asked me if I had any questions and I had pushed away my plate.  The institutional mystery meat in the snack had been tough and overcooked, but tasted delicious anyway.  I could have eaten another six servings.
    “Yes?”
    I explained what Dr. Zielinski had said about where I’d be getting juice.  “If my killing someone is supposed to be better than withdrawal, I’d like to see what it is that makes withdrawal so awful.  Surely you have a movie of it, or something.  They never talk about it on T.V. or in any of the magazines or newspapers I read.”
    “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”  He glanced out the window, but there was little to see past the bars and the thick wire mesh.
    “Why not?”
    Agent Bates lit a cigarette, a foul unfiltered Camel.  “Some things a person is better off not seeing.  Withdrawal is horrible.  You don’t want to see movies of withdrawal.”  He paused.  “We show these movies to men who are facing withdrawal themselves to convince them that suicide is a better option.”  I shivered, thinking of these men trying to convince some desperate Transform to commit suicide.  Was withdrawal bad enough to justify such a thing? 
    I looked at his sunken eyes, still bleak with old horrors, and didn’t wonder anymore.
    “Mr. Bates, if I’m going to kill people I