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picked someone like me, but -’
    ‘Someone like you?’ Her dad shook his head vehemently. ‘Why do you always put yourself down, Ellena? That man was bloody lucky to have you. I don’t care about all the rest - what he looked like, or his job, or his flash car, or the way he dressed. He was lucky to have you. But he couldn’t see it, could he? Fatherhood and all that responsibility, it must have got to him. He just couldn’t act his age. And you - you should have pursued it. You let him get away with it. You -’
    ‘OK. Fine. But it’s hard to track down someone who’s dropped off the face of the earth.’ Nell didn’t want to talk about this tonight. She rarely spoke of it at all. Discussing it meant she might slip up and diverge from the story she’d fobbed people off with for years, including her own family.
    ‘I’m glad you’ve come home, Ellena,’ said her father, a moment later, his voice soft and warm, with no edge to it now. ‘I just wish it was under different circumstances.’
    ‘Because I’m caring for Nana? Dad, it was my decision, my suggestion to come up here to help, you know it was. In a way, it’s panned out best for me. I mean, I’m sorry for poor Edith, having to go into a nursing home. But having Nana back here works out. I wasn’t going to let you and Yvette cancel that trip. You’ve been dreaming about it for years.’
    Edith Harris had been Nana’s closest friend since the Second World War, when they ’d served as Land Girls together. After Edith had been widowed, Nana had gone to Cumbria to keep her company; a ‘visit’ that had been extended up until the point when the sprightly Edith had been diagnosed with congestive heart failure, and could no longer take care of herself or her friend. Nana wasn’t so agile either; cursed with arthritis and in almost constant pain. Suddenly, she had been desperate to come home, pining for Harreloe and Bryn Heulog, as if she knew it was time to return to the bosom of her family. To the place where she always said her life began.
    Nell knew the feeling, too. She had experienced the call herself recently. Like a homing beacon.
    ‘It was the right time to leave London,’ Nell went on. ‘I wasn’t happy with the way things were. I was bored with my job, stressed having to cope on my own, and the school Joshua and Freya were going to . . . it was inadequate, basically. They didn’t know how to handle Joshua there, or the other kids’ reactions to him.’
    Nell leaned across, and rested a hand on her father’s arm. ‘We really needed a fresh start, Dad. And I’m glad it’s here. I’m grateful for this chance, I want you to know that. I don’t see looking after Nana as a burden. I’d do it even if you weren’t paying me. I half wish you weren’t, but I’m not brainless enough that I don’t consider this employment, too. When you and Yvette get back, we’ll take things from there. I can look around for another job, maybe, something to fit in during school hours. Or, if you still need me to take care of Nana, I can do that, too. I’m just glad to have this roof over our heads.’
    ‘You’ll always have that here,’ said her father, swilling amber liquid around his glass. ‘My concern is - if you’re taking care of your grandmother, as well as Joshua and Freya, then who’s going to be looking after you ? Will you take time out to look after yourself? And if you don’t, will anyone even notice?’
    ‘I will look after myself, Dad. And you know Emma’s going to be keeping an eye on me. She can never resist playing the big sister card.’
    ‘I t’s not just that . . .’ He shifted awkwardly in the armchair. ‘You deserve someone to take care of you. You deserve -’
    ‘A man, you mean?’ Nell stiffened, as if someone had shoved a rod down her back. ‘I had a man once, remember?’
    ‘Yes, but . . . Ellena, love, have you even dated since he left? Even just had a drink with someone? Anyone?’
    ‘Anyone male?’ Nell