Read Once Upon a Crime for Free Online Page B

hefty bars that formed the door that sealed Gretel and Bruder into their chill chamber. There was nothing in the way of furnishings, unless you were prepared to count the pile of dank straw in one corner. Gretel was not. Nor was she prepared to entertain the idea of prolonged incarceration insuch a place, with or without the lachrymose and whimpering farmer. It was with a sinking heart that she realized such a fate was probably the best she could hope for. Presumably the king was being soothed somewhere, by the queen and by, she hoped, copious quantities of medicaments. This could only be, she deduced, a temporary respite. Quite literally a stay of execution. Once he recovered what wits he possessed, he would no doubt take up the cause of justice for his daughter once more, and some gruesome death would duly be arranged. Gretel had had enough time to ponder the merits and demerits of the long list of sticky ends the king had already provided. None of them appealed to her, or seemed in the tiniest bit fair. She had to get away, and there was no time to be lost. She stepped over to the bars and called out in what she hoped was an appealing yet confident tone.
    â€œHello? Hello, guard. Are you there?”
    She could make out a rattling of keys and some off-tune humming in the distance.
    â€œHello! Guard,” she tried again. Then, remembering the level of noise that seemed to pass for normal in the Schloss, she bellowed, “Guard!!” one more time.
    The humming ceased. A skinny fellow with poor personal hygiene emerged from the gloom.
    â€œWhat’s all your noise about?” he asked, raising his lantern.
    Gretel beckoned him.
    â€œCome closer, so that we might not be overheard.”
    â€œAnd what might I want to talk to you about that should not be overheard?”
    â€œShould you come close enough so that we might not be overheard I might tell you.”
    â€œAnd what might you tell me that should not be overheard that I might want to talk to you about should I come close enough that you might tell me?”
    â€œShould you come close enough that I might talk to you and we might not be overheard it might be that you might hear what I might tell you that you should not want to be overheard.”
    There was a pause.
    â€œNah, sorry,” said the guard, “you’ve lost me. Can we go back to the bit where you might tell me that what should not be overheard?”
    Gretel felt a scream building in her throat. She swallowed it down and replaced it with her brightest smile.
    â€œHow much to spring me out of this dump?”
    â€œHow much have you got?”
    She fumbled inside her corset and brought out her entire stash of notes. She held them up so the guard could see them, but not close enough for him to be able to reach them.
    He squinted at the wad of money.
    â€œI prefer gold. Know where you are with gold.”
    â€œThis is all I brought with me.”
    â€œHow do I know that? How do I know you haven’t got loads more stuffed . . . somewhere?”
    â€œYou’ll just have to take my word for it.”
    â€œHah! Take the word of a heinous peasant kidnapper who wanted to do away with the lovely Princess Charlotte? What sort of a fool would that make me?”
    Gretel really did not know where to start with sorting out such a bundle of slander and inaccuracies.
    â€œLook,” she told him, as levelly as her nerves would allow, “this is all the money I’ve got. If you get me out, we can meet somewhere and I’ll give you as much again.”
    The guard jerked his head in the direction of Bruder. “What about him?”
    â€œWhat? Oh, yes, all right. You can have him, too.”
    â€œI meant, do you want me to get him out as well? I’m not doing it for nothing. More people, more risk, more money.”
    Bruder’s ears had gone up sufficiently at some point in the exchange for him to hear the important bits concerning