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would dishonor them if I tried to forget. They were a real part of who I was, of who I am today. So I’ll talk about her because she’s still here with me. I would hate it if she wasn’t. Sometimes pain can be sweet if we let it. It can remind us of all the good things. Just because something bad happened, it shouldn’t erase the sweetness that came before it. Maddie died. But that doesn’t mean I can’t remember how she smelled when I held her against me, how she’d cuddle her little head to my breast. Brandon died, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about how funny he was and how he asked me to marry him, but only after he’d thrown up because I told him I was pregnant.” Avery laughed, the sound bright and happy. “It was not the most romantic of proposals.”
    Eve couldn’t help it. Avery could be infectious. It was why she’d come to deeply enjoy these mornings with them. She’d always found it easy to be around Liam, but it was a joy to be around Avery. Avery made her wonder why she’d stopped hanging out with girlfriends. She used to love her girls’ nights out. Now she always came up with an excuse not to join Grace and Serena. “He really threw up?”
    Avery nodded. “Oh, yes. We were only eighteen, and we’d only had sex once and it hadn’t been that great. We’d kind of gone back to holding hands because he’d been so embarrassed about it. And then whoops goes the pregnancy test. He was a little surprised. How did Alex ask you?”
    Without even thinking about it, Eve snorted a little at the memory. It was the day he’d placed a delicate collar around her throat. He’d snicked the lock into place and then boldly told her that he wasn’t satisfied with just a collar. He wanted her to wear his ring, too. “He didn’t ask, the bastard. He told me I would marry him. Doms.”
    “Nice. So you two were in a D/s relationship before you got married?”
    “Oh, Alex was born a Dom. We met in college and Ian had already introduced him to the lifestyle.” God. What was she doing? She was gabbing like a schoolgirl, like a woman who was still married, telling her girlfriends how they met. Eve clammed up. She wasn’t a girl and she wasn’t like Avery. She cleared her throat. “But that’s a boring story. Did you find out if the baby’s a boy or a girl yet?”
    “We won’t know for another couple of weeks,” Avery said, her eyes focused on Eve as though she was trying to decide just how far to push. “But it doesn’t matter. We’ll be happy either way. I heard Serena’s having a boy.”
    Jake and Adam had done nothing but talk about their future son. Everyone was moving on with their lives. It was just she and Alex and Ian who were stuck, and Ian couldn’t help it. He hadn’t found the right woman.
    Eve knew she’d found the right man. Alex was still here. He was still in her bed some nights. She could reach for him, hold him tight.
    Lately she’d been wondering if they shouldn’t try again. Lately the memories had started to fade and she found herself reaching for Alex again. She’d started remembering things fondly. Their wedding day. She’d found photos in a box in her closet, and she’d stared at them for the longest time, thinking how handsome he’d been. He didn’t smile in the pictures. No, not Alex McKay. He smirked in the sweetest way, those upturned lips a testament to how satisfied he’d been with the day. In the picture she’d finally placed on one of the bookcases in her office, Ian and Sean had been standing beside Alex, all three of them so arrogant she had to laugh.
    And her momma and dad had been beaming out.
    It couldn’t hurt to pull that old picture out, she’d told herself. It was just a nice memory. But placing that picture where she could see it had her thinking.
    Hell, Avery and Liam had her thinking.
    What if they could start over?
    “How long did it take you after Brandon died to want to try again?” The question was out before she could really