conversations are mostly me asking how Ash is doing, and Dr. Paul saying, âIâm not legally allowed to say anything, he is an adult, but â¦â Then he divulges some crumb of Ashâs recovery that will have to sustain me until such time that my son is willing to talk to me.
âThatâs smart that they do that,â says Heather, who knows Iâm lying. âTotal immersion. Thatâll make things go that much faster.â
âHow long will he be in ⦠um ⦠the place where heâs at?â Janie asks.
âAs long as he needs to be. Thatâs why I picked this particular rehab,â I say, using the word Janie was reluctant to say. âItâs called the Willows. They have a program they run them through, and they donât release them until theyâre finished. It can be anywhere from a couple months to a year, or more. Although four months is the average.â
âSo what was he into?â Mary Beth asks, slugging down the last of her margarita. âPot? Meth? Crack?â
Is she honestly asking that so casually? Whatâs nextâmy bra size? If Iâve ever engaged in a three-way?
Heather says, âOh, for goodnessâ sake, Mary Beth.â
âWhat? Iâm only saying, thereâs all kinds of drugs and temptations out there. If we as parents are afraid to dig in and find out whatâs going on in our childrenâs lives, anything can happen. I donât know what Iâd do if my Nicholas or Katie started messing around with any of that.â
âYouâd do what any of us would do,â Heather says. âWhatever it takes. Now come on.â She stands up. âI came here to bowl, not to wag my jaw all night.â
âPotato,â I say quietly to Heather as we gather our glasses to carry with us, which is code for âI love you.â I donât even remember why.
She squeezes my elbow. âPotato, too.â
After that, thereâs bowling and pizza eating and opening of presents and blowing out of candles. I do what I can to shut off my brain. The margarita helps, but since Iâm driving, I can only have the one. Besides, thereâs something wrong about drinking to forget that your son is in rehab.
Later, Iâm pushing a piece of cake around my plate to disguise that Iâm not eating itâone word, coconut âwhen Samantha sits down next to me.
âHey, Mrs. Bloom.â
âHi, Samantha.â Iâve been exchanging barbs with the kids all eveningâthe usual trash talk about how I can bowl them under the tableâbut I havenât actually talked to any of them. âItâs good to see you. Are you excited about graduating?â
âUh-huh. I got a summer internship at my auntâs ad agency.â
âThatâs great! Where are you going to school?â
âI got into State.â
âThatâs my alma mater. I can tell you anything you need to knowâespecially the best places to meet guys. Oh, wait ⦠I mean the best places to study.â
She laughs, but sheâs wriggly in that way Ash was when he had something on his mind.
âI just wanted to say â¦â Her voice trails off. I wait. Eventually she continues, âIâm sorry I havenât written him back. Is he mad?â
âWritten him back?â I instantly know exactly what she means only I wish I didnât. âYou mean Ash.â
âI feel so bad. I wouldâveâonly my mom? She saw the letter? And told me not to?â Her face is puffyâsheâs trying not to cry.
I suppose that means that my face is puffy, too. Ash wrote to Samantha. He hasnât said so much as hello to me, his mother, who sold her house to pay for his rehab. But this girl that he dated for a few weeks, a couple months at most, she received a letter.
This should make me happy. Ash is reaching out to a nice girl. Heâs not writing letters to his drug