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I going to be
here?”
    “Like I
said, that’s up to you.”
    “You’re
the doctor. You’re supposed to be the one making the decisions.”
    “I make
the medical decisions. You’re the one who’s got to decide whether you want to
live.”
    “What
kind of talk is that?” Willie blinked, thinking back to a conversation he’d had
with the doctor a few days earlier. “You told me my chances were good, said I’d
probably pull through, be as good as new.”
    “ I believe I said almost as good as new.” Kellerman leaned
back. He seemed to be intent on studying the ceiling. “It’s not the leg that’s
going to kill you. It’s the drink, and you know that as well
as I do .”
    “What I
do and how I live my life is my choice. Like you said, Doc, you make the
medical decisions. The rest is up to me.”
    “ Which is why you’re the one who’ll decide when you’re ready to walk
out that door. ” He turned his attention to Willie again. “You think I
don’t know how you’re feeling? Let me tell you, I know all too well what’s
going through that muddled brain of yours.”
    Willie
cocked a brow. “Yeah?”
    “Yeah. You’re thinking that your
circumstances are different, that what’s happened to you somehow justifies
being a drunken fool.”
    “Well,
I think—”
    “Nobody
gives a damn what you think, all right? You think you’re
entitled to your misery, that nobody’s ever had quite such a rough row to hoe
as what you’ve got. Hell, Willie, look at how bad off I was.”
    The
doctor’s first wife had died years before of some rare disease. Abner had taken
it hard, had gone on a drinking binge that lasted more than a decade. It was
only when he met Charlotte—another sot at the
time—that the both of them found the courage to sober up and change their
lives.
    “Yeah,
I know all about it,” Willie said.
    “I’d
lost the love of my life, felt the Lord had given me more than I could bear,
and there I was a doctor, you know. I should have saved her, should have known
how to fix whatever ailed her. But I couldn’t.”
    Willie
nearly interrupted but caught himself. At some deep level, he understood the
doctor’s grief. Emotions stirred within him. Emotions he didn’t want. Emotions
he didn’t need.
    “Took
me a long time to figure it out, you know. Wasn’t until I met Charlotte—”
    “She
was in worse shape than you, from what I’ve heard. You weren’t anything more
than a damned, disgusting drunk. She was a filthy whore.”
    Abner
nodded. “And thank the Lord those days are behind us now. Thank the Lord that
we came together, had a chance to learn from our mistakes, and found the
strength to turn our lives around.”
    “I’m
real happy for both of you.” Willie didn’t give a whit about the Kellermans and
their salvation. They had each other for support. He had nobody, and if
wouldn’t matter if he did give up drink. All the problems would still be
staring him in the face, and nobody in Sunset—or
Denver, or, for that matter, the entire state of Colorado—would ever let him
forget his father’s sins. After what looked to be a long, estimable career, the
greed and corruption of Judge William Howard Morse had been exposed for all the world to see. The father Willie had revered proved
to be as crooked as the men he sentenced. “Just go away, old man. Leave me
alone.”
    “All
right. I can
see you’re not ready to listen. It’s a pity, Willie, but until you’re ready to
help yourself, there’s nothing anybody else can do for you.”
    Dr.
Kellerman replaced the chair along the wall and strode from the room without
another word.
    Willie
had his eyes closed again, but as soon as he knew the doctor was gone, he
opened them, surprised to see Hattie standing at the doorway. How long had she
been there? Funny thing, he hadn’t sensed her presence at all.
    Instead
of her usual cheerful smile, she wore a look of dismay upon her face. Her
cheeks were pale. Her hands clasped tightly