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and wiped them away with the
pads of his thumbs, then pulled her against his chest.
    “Aw, kitten, I’m so sorry. Please believe me.
I wish I’d made your first time so much more special.”
    “Adam, it was special. Please don’t
make it ugly now. Don’t apologize anymore for making love with
me.”
    Christ. What did she need to hear from
him?
    Adam wanted to lift her into his arms, but
didn’t have the strength, so he sat down on the edge of the bed and
pulled her down into his lap. She laid her head against his
shoulder and he stroked her gorgeous thick hair, remembering how
incredible it had felt to finger comb and bind it in the hair
corset at Marc’s—that evening seemed like a year ago.
    He nearly lost his resolve to do right by
her. He wanted nothing more than to lay her down on this bed and
make love to her the way he should have the first time. But he knew
he wasn’t going to make anything better at this point with more
sex. Time to regroup and form a new plan. Assess the situation on
the ground, figure out how to put this behind them, and move
forward. He just had no fucking clue how to do that.
    “What do we do now, hon?”
    She reached up to brush away her tears.
“Don’t make me leave, Adam. Please don’t send me away.”
    What was she talking about? He didn’t know
what all he’d said in the bedroom exactly, but didn’t remember any
talk about sending her away. At least, not that he’d spoken aloud.
Had he? Oh, hell, maybe he had. Damn it, he hated having his head
on so many fucking drugs. How was he supposed to navigate these
dangerous waters when he was under the influence of narcotics? He
wasn’t going to take another damned pain pill from now on.
    “I’m sorry, hon.” He felt her go stiff and
quickly added, “If I said I wanted to send you away, it must have
been the pills. I don’t want you to go anywhere.”
    I need you.
    Whoa. Sure, he wanted her, but it
wasn’t a need. He didn’t need anyone. He’d never needed anyone.
    Karla pulled away and her tear-stained face
tore at his heart, her long eyelashes clumping together. He’d put
those tears there. “Adam, I can’t go on the way we’ve been living,
though.”
    “What do you mean?” What was wrong with the
way they’d been living?
    She placed a hand at the nape of his neck and
pulled him toward her, letting her other hand stroke his cheek. Oh, God, no . He couldn’t resist her when she used tactics
like that. He groaned and turned his head as his mouth sought out
her sexy lips. He grabbed the back of her head and deepened the
kiss, his tongue delving into the sweetness of her mouth. His dick
came to a full salute.
    Shit. No . This needed to stop.
Now.
    She moaned, making him aware that his hand
was cupping her breast. Those firm breasts had been begging to be
touched for months, and he’d lain awake many nights imagining what
it would feel like to do just that. Now here she was in his lap,
his arm around her, hand touching her.
    Yeah, he needed to stop this shit. Now.
    His lips trailed down her neck, and her head
dropped back giving him better access as she gasped for air. He’d
never been so out of control.
    God help him, but he didn’t want to stop.
Ever.
    “What do you need from me, kitten?” he
whispered in her ear.
    “Love me, Adam. Please, just love me.”
    Oh, God . Don’t ask for the one thing
he couldn’t give her or anyone. He pulled away and searched her
eyes, watching the sparkle fade as realization dawned on her. What
a fucking heel he was. “I’m sorry, Karla. I can have sex with you,
but there can never be anything more than that.”
    “Because you still love your wife?”
    He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead
against hers. No. Because he didn’t want to hurt Karla the way he’d
hurt Joni. “I made a lousy husband, Karla. You deserve someone who
can love you one-hundred percent, twenty-four/seven. I’m not that
man.”
    “Bullshit.”
    He pulled back and opened his eyes to find
her