Read Night Moves (The Night Songs Collection) for Free Online Page B

they made on us were more than we could possibly accomplish. We worked late, we worked weekends. They never said there were any conditions when they offered to cover tuition, then they had me. All I could do was work. Sometimes eat, and barely sleep.”
    “So you quit your job and decided to sow your wild oats on the road with a rock band?” Ryder wasn’t on board with what I was saying yet.
    “No. It’s a nice surprise, but that’s not why I’m here. I totally alienated Jamie, my boyfriend. He was so sweet, loving, and had such a great view of the world. And I resented him for it because I was miserable. We never did anything anymore, we barely had sex. I basically abandoned him in a place that he knew no one. So when I came home early because of the blizzard, I was so looking forward to unplugging, forgetting everything, and just getting to know Jamie again. I really wanted things to go back to the way they were. But I was too late.”
    “Did he break up with you?”
    “No. I came home and found him in bed with the downstairs neighbor.”
    “And you took off?”
    I shook my head, and spoke softer. My words came in slow motion. “I wish. Something foreign took over my body. I’d never been so angry in my life. Not at him, at myself. For fucking things up so bad. I smashed their skulls together until they were dead.” I was afraid to look at him as my words hung in the air. Hysteria brewed just under my skin, saying all of this out loud for the first time. “Then I was stuck in the apartment with them until the travel ban was lifted.”
    “Oh man.” Ryder put his hand on my knee and squeezed it. That little gesture comforted me more than I ever thought it could.
    “I hate what I did, so much. They didn’t deserve to die for my mistakes.” Sobs choked my words. “But the worst part of it was Angela’s two girls, they came home right as I was about to leave. I can’t get them out of my head. This thing, which took over my life, took over your life, it took their mother away from them just like it took your girls from you.”
    Ryder didn’t say anything. He didn’t move. I didn’t know what he thought, what he felt. The fear that he would cast me out, reject me like Jamie had, overwhelmed me. Had I said too much? I wanted to beg for his acceptance. But I was a big girl, and I had to accept the consequences of my actions.
    “Well,” he said finally, his mouth slightly curling up in a sad smile. “I guess we both have something to hide.”

R yder followed my body back to the mattress. I just wanted to lie down quietly and process what just happened. We had bonded in the darkness, over darkness.
    Each of us had been responsible for someone taking their last breath. It was a kinship very few could understand.
    Softly I sighed as Ryder tangled his hand in my hair, pulling it away from my shoulder so he could nuzzle my neck. I stiffened when he lightly nipped my skin. My spine came up off the bed, even with his leg thrown over my thighs.
    “What’s wrong, babe?” He hovered over my face, the hand that was in my hair now cradling my cheek.
    I was embarrassed to say it out loud. My eyes, wide and unblinking, stared up into his. I could see his concern even in the shadows of the curtain we hid behind. His fingers gently stroked my jaw line.
    “It’s just that, you know,” I turned my face towards the wall, closing off my neck with my chin. “Your teeth, like, right there.”
    Ryder turned my face back towards his. “Have I ever hurt you?”
    I shook my head against his hand.
    “If I was going to hurt you, I would have done it by now.” He probably meant to comfort me, but he still sent a chill down my spine.
    “But the blood. Don’t you need it?” What a hypocrite I was. Maybe he thought of me differently now, too.
    “I don’t.” Ryder’s hands moved down my body, pulling me in by my waist against him.
    “But then what do you eat? I haven’t seen you eat the whole time I’ve been with