fact
we’re gay and haven’t got kids means Nick’s commitment means
nothing?”
“Anton, calm
down. I didn’t say that. All I meant was they complicate things,
and loyalties. Nick or you can cut ties with the other much more
easily.”
“You don’t
believe our marriage is real. Karl, I can’t believe—”
“Anton,
shut up and listen . I’m
trying to say that if Nick had
walked out on you, if his
commitment was that shallow, then he
had fewer considerations. But I don’t believe his commitment was that shallow. I could be wrong.
So could you. But I believe you when you say there’s something
fishy. I believe you.”
I exhaled, my
eyes pricking. “Sorry. I, uh....”
“You need
someone with you. Come up to us.”
“I can’t,
Karl. I just can’t. I need to be here.”
“Very well,
I’ll come to you. I’ll be there by supper.”
“You
can’t. Don’t be silly. I’m fine.”
“Bullshit. If you think I’m going to let my only sibling
and best friend sit on his own, maundering about his missing love,
then you don’t know me at all, Anton Marber. Now I’ll call Mum. You
sit tight. See you soon.”
Karl’s
announcement shook me out of the numb depression, which was
probably the best thing he could have done for me just then.
It gave me something
else to think about, even if only with half my mind. I readied the
spare room, tidied up the small amount of mess the police had made,
and made a run across the river to Waitrose for food.
But even
shopping was harder than it should have been. I stood in front of
the ready meals, unable to make a simple decision about what to
buy. I couldn’t stop thinking about Nick and the purported message
from him. Even if I hadn’t known the man and his essential
integrity, I couldn’t fathom how he would have had time to meet
someone and fall in love. Through work? It would have to be another
cop, and Thorpe would have been quick to bitch at me if another of
his people had disappeared along with Nick. Then again, there had
been a lot of
overtime.
Fuck,
now I was doing it.
“Excuse me,
dear, could I...?”
I jumped, and
hastily stepped aside to let the woman pick up her choice. After
she finished, I picked up the same as what she’d chosen. Pizza.
Okay, pizza was good. That meant salad, and red wine. The path was
clear. I grabbed a couple of packets of prepared green stuff, and
two bottles of the Merlot on special. There. Shopping achieved.
Husband still
missing. Fuck it.
I would
believe Nick had fallen in love with someone else when I saw him
face to face and he told me with his own mouth—and not before. I
said as much to Karl once he’d dumped his bags and I’d dished up
our supper.
“Your
suggestion about asking Harry’s a good idea. I thought I could do
some investigating first.”
“What about
your job?”
I honestly
hadn’t given the university a moment’s thought since I’d spoken to
Nick’s boss the day before. “I’ll fit it in around this.”
“For how
long?”
“As long as I
have to. Nick can’t stay invisible. Sooner or later he’ll have to
get in touch about his stuff. At the very least, his bank accounts
are all here.”
“What if he’s
decided to ditch this part of his life entirely? He might walk away
from all that.”
“He hasn’t,” I
snapped. I gulped some of my wine, and glared at him.
“It’s a
possibility,” Karl said calmly. “The whole thing’s a shock to me as
well, you know. I can’t make sense of it any more than you can. All
I’m saying is that Nick might have left you for real.” He held up
my hand. “I don’t know why, I can’t fathom what would drive him to
do it, and frankly, I’d say he must be mentally deranged if he has.
But mental illness has to be considered. Has he been under
stress?”
“Yes.” I
blinked. It was so bloody obvious when Karl pointed it out, but I
hadn’t even considered it. “He’s been working insane hours, barely
a break. But I didn’t see any sign of
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