eyes in pain. “I can’t bear the idea of marriage. The thought of lying with a man makes me want to run screaming. You have saved my life, Major, but I am no damsel rescued from the dragon. I am too old and scarred to be an innocent bride. If you wish to help me, escort me to Liverpool and lend me enough money to take a ship to America. As heir to Daventry, you will have no trouble finding a wife who is suitable. A sweet-tempered young woman like Sarah Townsend. Not a battered widow with nothing left to give.”
“Damnation!” he snapped. “Why is everyone trying to pair me off with Sarah Townsend? She’s a lovely girl, but a girl. You are a woman, and the one that I want.”
“You are accustomed to having what you want,” Julia said dryly. “But surely a little thought will persuade you that a woman who won’t be a wife is not what you want.”
He studied her slim figure and weary, indomitable eyes as he thought about her words. “What you say is entirely sensible, yet marriage is not a matter of sense. I want you to be part of my life, Julia. We have both survived great pain. I don’t want a bright, uncomplicated girl who has no understanding of shadows. You and I can know each other in a much deeper way. Does that have no value? Might we not develop trust and friendship enough to eventually become husband and wife in truth?”
“Perhaps that is possible,” she said, her voice aching. “But even if it is—I must reveal the final truth because it is an insurmountable obstacle. I don’t believe that I will ever be able to bear a child, Major. Branford…damaged me. You are heir to an earldom. You owe it to your heritage to marry a woman who can give you a son.”
So Julia, who would know, believed herself barren. Unable to sit still, he rose and moved restlessly across the hut. There wasn’t even room for proper pacing.
The principal duty of a lord was to breed another lord for the future. Yet Randall wasn’t a lord now, and his life had never been about the earldom of Daventry.
Julia had leaned back against the wall, eyes closed and her expression drained. In his previous experience of her, she had always been relentlessly self-effacing. Now she stood revealed with quiet strength and delicate beauty. Before her catastrophic marriage, she must have been a strikingly attractive girl. A major prize in the Marriage Mart. Daventry would want nothing less for his heir.
This discussion had to be even more difficult for her than for him. Yet she had revealed painful truths because of a bone-deep honesty that called to him. The more they talked, the more he wanted her as his wife.
He also wanted her as a lover. Attraction was mysterious. Her quiet grace and petite, perfectly proportioned body had entranced him the first time he saw her. Could he bear a wife he desired, yet could not touch?
If there was any chance she would overcome the horror of her first marriage, he’d be willing to take the risk. He’d taken far worse ones.
Chapter 6
After such a long. traumatic day, Julia had barely enough energy left to be tense, despite Randall’s bizarre suggestion. She watched as he moved restlessly around the small room. His limp was the worst she’d seen it, probably from his hard riding to rescue her after he’d already traveled all day. She hoped he was right that Crockett and his men wouldn’t find them. Taking on four enemies at once was a lot even for Randall.
Her feelings were confused. On a purely emotional level, being in the presence of a powerful man who was skilled at violence made her want to cower in a corner. Yet he had none of the mad cruelty of her husband. Randall had behaved—was behaving—with impeccable honor and courage.
Strange to think that he and Branford were cousins. She saw no similarity between them. Randall was a warrior, intense and sometimes prickly. Yet that violence was controlled. She couldn’t imagine him hurting a person for his pleasure.
Bringing their awkward,